Shameless

93|Church of Gay Jesus

Carla sat next to Franny as she braided her hair with a little hand mirror propped up on the table in front of her. "Hey,they've got a retirement calculator. I fucking love the internet." Frank said as he read off his phone.

"I'll roll over my 401K from Lumber Lawn and Lighting. And then I add my estimated yearly earnings." Frank said. "What are you doing,Frank?" Lip asked as he poured himself coffee."Planning my retirement. Time to reflect on my accomplishments and to bask in the spoils of a life well-lived." Frank told Lip.

"You mean leech off your kids and drink booze out of a backpack?" Lip asked as there was a knock on the door. "You guys,Farhad found me a temp job that pays 40 bucks an hour!" Debbie exclaimed. "Oh,yeah?" Lip asked.

"Some nighttime welding gig." Debbie said as she stood up. "I don't know,nighttime welding? Sounds kind of sketchy,Debs." Lip said. "Took me two weeks to make 300 bucks walking dogs. I can handle sketchy." Debbie said.

"Expenses? Alcohol and drugs is non-negotiable. Clothing? Yes,the occasional golf shirt or swimwear for leisurely retirement pursuits." Frank talked to himself.

"Hola,Hola,good morning." Celia,Franny's Abuelita(grandma), said. "Hola,mi cielito. Como estàs?" Celia asked. "Are you ready to have a nice day with your abuelita?" Celia asked Franny as she chuckled softly while she picked up Franny and spoke Spanish to her, and Franny babbled.

"I'll change you." Celia said as she kissed Franny's head while Carl walked downstairs. "Good morning,boo." Kassidi said. "Did you make all this?" Carl asked. "Yes. For you,bae. I am going to cook for you every day,and dinner too,and then blow jobs for dessert." Kassidi told Carl.

"I'm going to be the best fucking wife." Kassidi said happily as she squeals solfy and kissed Carl. "The age I'd like to retire,based on my current age?" Frank asked himself.

"Well... they're identical,so." Frank said as his phone chimed. "I--." Frank started."W--this makes no sense." Frank said. "Let me see." Lip said standing up as Frank handed him his phone.

"All right,your need...23 grand annually to retire. And you are short by about....22 grand. Sounds right to me." Lip said, handing Frank his phone back. "Oh,fuck that." Frank said lightly throwing his phone on the counter.

"I've got engagement presents!" Kassidi exclaimed as she walked into the kitchen with two big bags. "The vibrations will lift up your follicles so that the blades cut below your skin." Kassidi Told Frank.

"Thank you." Frank said. "And a Nintendo 3DS for Liam." Kassidi said happily as she gave Liam his gift. "Dope." Liam said. "And a Zen garden with a tiny little sand rake for you."  Kassidi handed Lip his gift.

"And,um,a Fitbit for Ian." Kassidi said. "Sweet." Ian said. "And hot rollers for you." Kassidi handed Debbie her gift. "And for Carla... a smart watch." Kassidi said, handing Carla a box. "Cool." Carla said.

"And for you,my sweet,hot bitch." Kassidi giggled softly. "I found it." Kassidi said, handing Carl a small box. "What is it?" Carl asked as Kassidi giggled. "Is that blood?" Carl asked, holding up a necklace with a small charm that held blood.

Kassidi held her arm out to show a bandage. "Is thst your blood?" Carl asked. "Yeahm it's your blood now. You possess me,and vice versa. Here. Come here." Kassidi said as she pulled Carl over to the skin and held up a knife.

"I'll try not to nick an artery." Kassidi said. "Gross." Carla and Debbie said together. Carl mouthed words to Carla as he chuckled nervously.

~~

Later that night,Carla sat in her room. "Omg. That was amazing." Carla heard Kassidi say. "Your brother is,like,everything. And they all ate my popovers. God I am really fucking happy." Kassidi said.