Shameless

32|Where There's a Will

The twins and the rest of the Gallagher siblings and some other people stood around cousin Patrick. "Thank you all for coming out in honor of Aunt Ginger. Uh,GG,as I called her. You know when the guy at the funeral place handed me her ashes... I thought,'What the hell do I do with these? Put them in a vase on my mantle,or scatter them in the park or in the lake?' Then I thought 'no,I know where she was happiest.' On this corner. Her corner. Where she turned tricks in her 20s and 30s." Patrick said.

"And 60!" Frank added."She did magic tricks?" Carl asked Frank. "No,son,'turning tricks' is a euphemistic for prostitution. In her days,your great aunt was a legendary pole smoker. Could unlock her jaw like a Burmese python." Frank explained,"we are at her funeral." Jimmy pointed out.

"You know some think Gallaghers don't have a work ethic. But Ginger worked this corner rain,sleet,snow. Her old knees hitting that hard pavement,again and again. Bertie Giddelman's the only one that's outlasted her." Frank said."Look,you all knew Ginger,so I ain't gonna sugarcoat it. She was a mean,old bitch. But even a mean,old bitch deserves a send-off." Patrick said "hear,hear." Frank said. "So this is us,Ginger,sending you off. Right where you belong." Patrick said as he poured the ashes.

"It's touching." Lip said "I'm tearing up." Ian said dryly "okay,kids,let's go." Patrick threw the box down. "Patrick." Fiona stopped him."So Ginger had a will we didn't know about, and you had it sitting in your drawer?" Fiona asked."Yup." Patrick nodded."And even though she hated your guts.." The twins walked away, so they didn't hear anymore.

Carla jumped on Ian's back as they walked away back to their house.

Carla sat next to Carl at the dining table."you appreciate the irony,right. Senseless arguments about who gets what bedroom. Refusing to allow me to stay. Now nobody gets to stay." Frank laughed "why's Frank here again?" Ian asked. "There's a small chance he'll be able to help...since he's known Patrick longer than any of us." Fiona explained.

"Patrick wants to steal our house?" Carla asked "he's a contractor,gonna flip it. Slap a couple of paint on it,call it a 'cozy,authentic pre-war.' And offload it to yuppies." Lip explained. "Not gonna happen. So Let's go over our options." Fiona said. "I'll write them down." Debbie said.

"All right,look we know the will is bullshit. It was signed a year ago,and Ginger's been dead for,what,10?" Ian asked as he sat down. "Moee like 15." Fiona said "option one: prove will is forgery." Debbie wrote it down. "We can't call the cops because we faked Ginger's death. And Forged a will of our own." Lip said.

"Plus Frank's been cashing Ginger's social-security checks." Fiona added. "Oh,like you did share in that bounty." Frank said "so we could do we could argue that Ginger wasn't of sound mind when she signed it." Lip offered "she was never of sound mind anyway." He added.

"Option two: say Ginger was crazy." Debbie wrote it down. "Or convinced Patrick to back off somehow." Jimmy joined in "yeah that's three." Debbie said "Good luck with that. His nickname used to be Pit Bull. Partly an oder thing,but also because once he gets ahold of you,he doesn't let go. You gotta kill him first" Frank said. "Option four: kill Patrick." Debbie wrote it down.

The twins looked at each other with a slight smirk,already making a plan for that option. "It's time to face reality. Patrick out-Gallagher'd us...and there's no point in fighting it." Frank said as he sat on the counter. "Easy for you to say,you're at Sheila's." Ian said "so before you're out on the streets like so many Somailan refugees...ask yourself. If Patrick is taking the house,what are we taking?" Frank asked as everyone looked at him confused. "Copper pipesm" Frank said.

"You're not taking the pipes,Frank." Fiona told him "you really think there's a way to challenge the will?" Fiona asked "why not,you know,if I can bone up on probate law." Lip said "All in favor?" Fiona asked as everyone rasied their hands. "Unanimous." Fiona exclaimed as she put her hand down.