Shameless

7| Frank Gallagher: Loving Husband, Devoted Father

"Got semolina,seven-grain, and whole wheat." Fiona said, walking in the house."You work at a bakery, and alm you stole was bread? Where are the crullers and turnovers?" V asked as she brushed Debbie's hair."we want suger." Debbie said,"Yeah? Too bad. Free toast for a week. Who wants a sandwich?" Fiona asked."Mine with the crusts off." Steve said, walking downstairs."How's your wake-and-bake?" Steve asked.

"Two a.m. start. I don't know how Lucia does it." Fiona said, opening the fridge."Hey, I got a surprise for you." Steve informed."gotta do something about that toilet." V said,"What's wrong with it?" Fiona asked, taking her jacket off."Nothing,if you don't mind squatting above the seat like a cooli so your ass doesn't touch the water. Oh, and Carla, you're after Debs." V said, and Carl nodded."Did you try and fix it?" Fiona asked, switching the topic back over  "Hell,nom I just got my nails done." V said. Debbie got up and switched places with Carla.

"I got us a room at the Delaroix tonight." Steve muttered in Fiona's ear."Ha. Ha. Good for you. Who are you gonna take? Sounds nice
" Fiona said as she opened the Silverware drawer."Where are the knives? Carl!" She yelled out

~~

"Ew Carl!" Carla yelled at her brother as she threw snow back at him, causing him to tackle her to the ground and pin her down."Ha!" He laughed then stopped, then she flipped them over, and she pined him down."Ha! Get pinned by a girl!"  She laughed in his face them got up and helped him up. "You're so annoying." Carl said, wiping snow off him. "You love me." Carla said teasingly as she wiped snow off her as well.

The Gallaghers watched as Kevin opened the back of a truck on the side of the road "wow" Debbie said. "What is this?" Kevin said, climbing in with Lip. Lip helped the twins get in while kev helped Debbie get in.

The twins helped each other carry a heavy box full of meat over to Kevin. "Thanks for the help." Kev said, patting the twins on the back.
Everyone walked back to the Gallagher house to put the meat in the fridge.

V opened the freezer. "How the hell are we gonna fit all of that in there?" She asked."we could hang it in the garage till spring, back off what we need." Steve said,"Rats could get it." Fiona said."Rats won't be a problem." Carl said as Carla carried hedge shears. "Move,move,move. Dude move,move,move" Kevin said, walking in the kitchen. Lip took the Hedge shears away from Carla, making her whine.

The twins sat on the couch as they watched Steve poorly slice the meat.

The twins were outside helping lip cope meat when Steve came outside with Fiona. "You think you guys can survive one night without Fiona?" Steve asked "no" Debbie whined."Heh. Kidding." she said, then went back to cutting meat "sure" the twins said together."Yeah, have a great time." Lip said "Debs go pick up Liam from Sheila's. " Fiona ordered."No,wait,Debs, hold on."  Steve said, following Fiona inside.

The twins followed Lip inside, taking their now snow-covered jackets,hats,and gloves off. "What's all this?" Lip asked."Frank's bills." Fiona answered "six hundred and eighty dollars at Murphy's liquor. " Fiona read a loud "twelve hundred at Windy Titty?" Lip read,"a grand to Big Lenny?" Debbie read,"drug dealers take credit cards?" Carl asked. "He brought a 65-inch flat screen? Where the hell is that?" Lip asked. "Wait,let me see those." Fiona took the bills out of everyone's hands.

"Unbelievable." she said,"What?" Debbie asked."He used our names to get the cards." Fiona said, "Cool,I just got a subscription to the Penthouse. " Carl said, giving Carla a fist bump and laughed.

~~

Lip,Debbie,and the twins ate steak as Frank walked in. "What happened to you?" Lip asked."Uh,a huge guy jumped me. Two eighty,290,steroids... who knows?" Frank said,"Good for him."Lip nodded."I need your help." Frank told the four."I got maybe 2 bucks. " Debbie said."No,no,no. Show of hands. How many of you at one point or another wanted to see me dead?" Frank asked. Lip and the twins immediately rasied their hands with no hesitation. The Debbie rasied it. "Yeah. Here's your chance." Frank said.

Frank then told them a plan to fake his death.

The twins looked around before Carl took flowers, and Carla took a big cross from a memorial thing that was by a tree and ran back home.

~~

The next day, the twins help put together a fake memorial in their living for their dad. "Yo Carl, grab those." Lip told him, "Let's go. Let's go." Veronica said "yeah right there. " Lip said."Hey,Carla put that over their." V said, pouting as Carla put down flowers by the casket that lip had borrowed."Right there,Carl turns it around, " V told him. "What the hell?" Fiona asked "Debbie what's going on?" Fiona asked again." Some killer are after dad. we have to fake his death. Lip borrowed a casket.  The twins found some flowers. Dad's getting changed
I steamed your black dress. But you have to hurry because they'll be here any minute." Debbie explained."Anybody seen ian?" she asked

"Stuff the ice in his shirt." Fiona told Carl as he put ice on Frank to make him look dead while Debbie made him look pale. "Stop, enough." Frank said,"Your body needs to be cold." Fiona explained,"None morphine." Frank begged,"it's horse tranquilizer." V corrects him."Get in the coffin before you pass out," Lip said. "Just a little taste?" Frank asked."I don't know why we do this for you." Lip said.

"You think it's easy being a parent? Letting Fiona be the good cop? The important thing is you kids. Carl,Carla, I remember when the nurse in the hospital handed you two to me." Frank cupped the twins' faces."The twins were born in the back of the van. You weren't there." Lip explained,"I slapped Carl's little ass myself." Frank stood up straight just for lip to punch him in the face, knocking him out.

Everyone put his body all the way in the coffin. "He looks dead. Shallow breathing,clammy." V said,"Hey Carl, more ice." v ordered,"got it." he said as Carla handed him the ice bag.

Everyone stood around the coffin fake, crying, which looked pretty real. Carla let take tears roll down her face and laid her head on Carl's shoulder as the door opens "sorry for your loss." A random guy said,"It was a shock." Fiona lied. "I'm sure." The man said." The accident was it?" He asked ."suicide." Lip answered, making everybody fake sob.

The man ran up, picked Frank up by his shirt, making Debbie scream, "I know you're faking it. Come on,open your eyes,you lying,squirrely sack of shit." The man slapped Frank across the face."Jesus,Rob." The other man pulled him away."You're alive,I know it ,come on." Rob said,"What's the with you? Look at him,he's dead." The older man said. Ian had ahold of the twins closely. "Sorry. He's been under a lot of stress." The man told the family.

"Gonna check with the boss. nobody move." Rob said. Fiona nodded her head towards the back door, and the twins snuck away, Carl grabbed a bowling ball, and they ran to the side of the house. Carla opened the gate for Carl as he ran to the blue truck. Carla helped Carl lift the bowling ball and throw it through the window. The twins ran to the other side of the road and hid behind a car.

The twins ran back inside to help the rest of the family pick up the casket full of meat. They all lifted it. "Carl's not lifting his share." Debbie said  "yes I am. You're not." Carl said,"Shut up, you two." Fiona told them,"let me help." Rob said, helping put up the casket more, taking Carl's spot."Jesus. Stiff's starting to get ripe." Rob said as they walked to put it in the car.

~~

The Gallaghers were at the Alibi for Frank's fake memorial. Fiona rubbed the twins' head and then kissed their heads. Kevin clinked on a glass to get everyone's attention. "Could I have your attention, please?" Kevin announced. "Uh,Frank's Gallagher. Loving husband,devoted father. Truly respected and cherished members of this community. He was a good friend and good neighbor... and he will he sorely missed. I just hope in the afterlife... they treat him as kindly as he treated us. To Frank." Kevin rasied his glass of beer "to Frank." Everyone repeated as they drank.

All the Gallaghers, including Kev and V, watched as Rob and the other guy left, and Lip locked the door. Frank came out from the back. "Gonna take more than that to put out the lights on Frank Gallagher." Frank exclaimed."Next round's on me. Yeah!" He examined and high-fived Steve as everyone cheered.

The twins stood around the pool table, listening to a drunk Frank talk about seeing Jesus. "I followed the light,and there was Jesus. He enveloped me in his arms he was warm... like the inner thighs of an overworked hooker." He said, making lip chuckle.

"People ask me,they say,'Frank...' Why do you drink." Frank sung drunkly "to get drunk." Everyone sang back."And why do you roll smoke." He continued to sing "to get high." Everyone sang. "Why must you live out all those songs that you wrote." Frank continued to poorly sing.

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