Why am I never enough??

part 52

it was now 3pm when i woke up so i picked dejuane jr up even tho he was still sleep and i went to the kitchen just rocking him then i saw Azlynn was still awake so i start whispering
Y: Azlynn head to bed
Azlynn: i wanna stay with malu
Malu: let her stay
Y: no it's late and she needs to go to sleep
Malu: why
Y: girl if dejuane is 19 and next to you slumped af then what makes you think a 1 year old should still be up
Azlynn: no i'm staying
Y: take your ass to bed
azlynn got up and walked in the room in the room mad but i didn't care she shouldn't be up this late, i then rolled my eyes at malu and went in the room and tried to put her pajamas on but she moved away and laid under the cover so while she did that i laid dejuane jr in my spot while i stood up
Y: lose the attitude azlynn
Azlynn: i want to stay with malu you're not fair
Y: it's late you can stay with her tomorrow
Azlynn: you never let me have fun i hate you
Y: you know what go then azlynn i don't fucking care anymore!!
then she looked at me then walked out the door, so much stress was coming over me that i started to cry without even noticing and plopped next to dejuane jr still crying, through blurred vision i played slowed music and turned on my led lights, just pouring my eyes out for hours and hours then once i finally finished crying it's was now 10am so i went and looked at myself in the mirror and i looked like i aged 50 years and my head was killing me so i walk out the room and for the first time in a while everyone was in the living room and when they saw me they just stared at me

Derek: you ok?
Y: i'm fine
Cherry: come talk to us
Y: i'm good
Mattia: y/n come on, azlynn already told us what happened
Y: ok
Kairi: so talk to us and her
Y: no she hates me so she can talk to malu
Dejuane: really y/n
Y: yea she loves malu so much and hates me so she can talk, sleep and play with malu

then i walk back into the room and play with dejuane jr while he giggles and smile at me with just his two little baby teeth then everyone even malu and azlynn along with dejuane comes in my room and malu is holding azlynn, i look at them then continue tickling dejuane jr and smiling when he smiles because his smile is just so pure and adorable

Mike: y/n
Y: what
Mike: do you not see us standing here
Y: i do
Vallyk: then you know why we in here
Y: and don't care
Kobe: come on y/n you know she didn't mean it
Y: but she said it

then azlynn looks at dejuane with watery eyes
Azlynn: does mommy hate me?? i didn't really mean it i was just mad

not gonna lie when she said that i felt really bad then dejuane looked at me mad ash and it was at that moment i knew i fucked up lol(😭)

Dejuane: Y/N BRUH COME ON CANT YOU SEE SHES JUST AS UPSET AS YOU
Y: DUH I SEE THAT ASS
Dejuane: THEN STOP BEING STUCK UP AND TRY AND AT LEAST LISTEN TO HER
Y: STOP YELLING AT ME DEJUANE
Dejuane: NO BECAUSE YOURE BEING A STUCK UP BITCH TO YOUR OWN DAUGHTER
Y: EVERYONE BUT AZLYNN GET THE FUCK OUT NOW!!!!!!!!

everyone left then i calmed down and calmed dejuane jr down because he was crying due to the yelling then i calmed azlynn down and she apologized and ofc i forgave because after all i probably overreacted and i'm still her mother at the end of they day and then she promised to go to sleep when i tell her then i gave her hug and started playing with her and dejuane jr until azlynn got tired and went sleep along with dejuane jr (dj for short) and i laid them next to each other then walked out the room and going into the living room with everyone else
Malu: did you finally act like a mom??
Y: did you finally stop being dejuanes back up sex you
Justin: ha she got up dumbass
Andre: ong
Dejuane: she's not a sex toy
Y: then what is she
Dejuane: m my gi girl
Y: exactly get your stu-stu- stuttering ass on somewhere

we all start laughing besides malu and dejaune ofc then we just kept hopping on malu ass and even dejuanes from time to time then i got tried so i went back in the room and fell asleep next to the kids

about to take a nap i'm tired 😴.