Why am I never enough??

part 101

once i woke up it was 5:00pm and i got up stretching and i saw dejuane on his phone texting someone so i look over and try to see but he smirks and moves back then 30 minutes later a car pulls into the driveway and malu comes out and walks inside the house

Malu: oh hey y/n didn't know you'd be here
Y: hey i was actually about to leave anyway so have fun

i get up and grab my things then i call derek and tell him to come get me then i remembered they were dropping everyone off so they were at my house meaning they were 2 hours away so i just started walking and listening to music and humming it in my head and i made it to the house around 8:30pm and no one was home but i couldn't care less because my ankle was throbbing and i needed to sit down so i manage to get the couch and lay down and put on a movie then i go to sleep

Manolo pov:
while the others were gone for the week not much happened we did party nearly everyday tho and we had a few petty arguments and some lady came by looking for y/n but other than that everything's been good but when y/n texted derek he started driving to go get her but when we went to their old house she wasn't there so we drove around looking for her then  we picked up dejuane, mike, artis, cherry etc and we head to the house and when we get inside she's on the couch sleeping then we let out a sigh of relief and sit on the couch talking and then smitty laughs too loud along with donn and y/n shoots up rubbing her arms and stretching

back to y/n pov:
once i woke up and stretched i saw everyone was inside

Y: why y'all yelling
Smitty: our bad
Y: nah shit i had to walk 3 fucking hours and my ankle hurts like a bitch the least y'all could let me do is get an hour of uninterrupted sleep
Smitty: sorry damn

then after smitty said that there's a knock on the front door and dejuane goes and open it and all we hear is "tell y/n i said i'll always be wherever she goes" and then dejuane drops to the ground with blood coming out of his side and i run to him and grab his face lifting him up as blood starts to cover my hands

Y: NO NO PLEASE STAY IM RIGHT HERE DEJUANE YOUR GONNA BE FINE EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE FINE JUST KEEP LOOKING AT ME
Nia: omg what happened
Y: i don't know but please call 911 NOW!!!!

they run and call the cops and i just rock back and forth with dejuane begging him to hold on and telling him funny stories about us then when they put him on the stretcher he closes his eyes

Y: NO DEJUANE STAY AWAKE OPEN YOUR EYES PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME STAY AWAKE IM RIGHT HERE I PROMISE IM NOT GOING NO WHERE STAY FOR ME IM BEGGING YOU!!!!!
(not me making myself cry 💀)

after that malu gets in the back with him and me and whoever got in drove right behind the ambulance all the way to the hospital then we had to sit in the waiting room while dejuane was having a emergency surgery, i didn't even sit down i just paced back and forth crying the whole time it seemed like we were in there for eternity then the nurse came up to us and everyone springs up and once she tells us he's ok but he's on life support i cry again and she lets us go in one at a time, i let everyone go ahead of me because i wanted to have the most time so once everyone finishes i go in and hold dejuanes hand with tears still coming down my face and a few dry ones with red puffy eyes then he slowly opens his eyes and a huge smile plasters across my face then dejuane starts talking in a barely audible voice

Dejuane: stop crying you look terrible
Y: haha very funny
Dejuane: but fr you look better when you smile
Y: nothing to smile about dejuane
Dejuane: smile because i'm still alive

i flash him a fake ass smile

Dejuane: it's a start

i let out a small giggle then i put my other hand on the other side of his hand rubbing it then he goes to sleep so i kiss his forehead then walk out the door since malu is gonna stay with him once i go out the room derek grabs my hand and leads me to the car and me and him along with the others get in the car and drive back to my house and derek decides he wanted to spend the night so i let him and while i go in the shower he lays down on the bed after my shower i get dressed and dry my hair then while derek shower an unknown number calls me and i answer and it turns out it was malu calling because dejuane wanted to talk to me

Y: dejuane go to sleep bruh
Dejuane: i don't want to
Y: you just got stabbed sweetie the LEAST you should do is sleep
Dejuane: sleep is for the weak
Y: you are weak rn your voice is low ash and your side won't be normal again for a while
Dejuane: ok well at least talk to me until i fall alseep
Y: sure but so you know who stabbed you
Dejuane: they had long brown hair and blue eyes so i'm pretty sure it was a woman and she looked like she was in her 40s and that's all i could see
Y: ok thanks now let's talk so you can get some sleep

i talk to dejuane about random things then he falls asleep and i think about people that match the description then when it hits me all i can think is "no it can't be possible" then derek comes out and i set up my phone against my lamp next to me

Derek: who's that
Y: dejuane he can't sleep
Derek: oh ok well come on let's cuddle
Y: sounds fine by me

i cuddle with derek and once again i'm little spoon and i made sure to face my phone so if dejuane woke up he didn't think i hung up then when my mind finally stops racing i fall asleep

thank you to all the people who were proud of me it means a lot for someone to tell me that because lately i've felt like i haven't done anything right and to know y'all are proud of me means more than y'all will ever know omg bro i'm literally crying y'all really made my night i love you guys so much 😭🥺