Why am I never enough??

part 105

Y: ok before we start once a girl gets picked she'll take a step forward and then that's how we'll see if there would've been an argument
Kobe: aight bet i would for sure pick devyn 
Devyn: yurrr
Mike: i would've picked my baby ansley
Ansley: as you should
Vallyk: lexi for sure
Lexi: yup
Derek: y/n
Y: ok ok
Andre: umm prolly nia
Nia: whoop whoop
Artis: my baby cherry
Cherry: ofc
Ballo: mine would've been dixie
Dixie: why thank you
Donn: umm avani
Avani: sí
Manolo: ofc tatyanah
Tatyanah: oh shit
Dejuane: y/n for sure
Y: not me stepping up 2 times
Smitty: make it 3
Y: oop
Jared: make it 4
Y: well damn
Sora: imma go with lexi
Lexi: ok look at me on my second step
Josh: ofc haihai
Haihai: yuppity
Kay: umm devyn
Devyn: kobe not gone like that
Justin: shit i want all y'all
Y: um chile anyways that's it right??
Larray: wait can i pick
Y: sure i guess
Larray: ok i would've went for my bitch y/n
Y: periodt as you should so i think it's fair to say i'm the baddest bitch in this house
Devyn: girl bye
Lexi: um no
Y: my haters give me motivation
Devyn: bitch i can't stand you
Y: HAHA
Nia: hold up monroe didn't go
Y: oh shit ok boys we gone do it like this step forward if you'd date monroe

when i said that everyone stayed in their spot looking side to side to see if anyone moved

Y: welp damn
Monroe: i don't care all of y'all ugly
Y: first off bitch no one in this house is ugly well besides you and second weren't you trying to fuck like half of them
Derek: you should let us move in
Y: go ahead there's more than enough space
Mike: but i thought you wanted a fresh start
Y: i did but i also know that no fresh start is worth anything if you guys aren't with me
Vallyk: omg stop before you make me cry
Y: and you hoes will just come to the house nearly everyday anyway
Vallyk: true
Y: i missed you guys

me, andre, justin, hailey, ayaina, kobe, derek, mike, vallyk, ansley, cherry, artis, and dejuane do one big group hug then we pull apart and we all talk about where there rooms will be then derek and dejuane pull me to the side

Y: um chile what is this
Dejuane: we want to ask you something
Y: no i don't do threesomes so don't ask you lil horny fuc-
Derek: girl what shut up that's not even what we were gone say
Y: oh then what
Dejuane: pick
Y: huh??
Derek: either me or dejuane pick now
Y: umm idk tho
Dejuane: well you can't keep playing with us both
Y: i don't tho so what do you mean
Derek: yea you do one second you want me the next second you don't and one second you're all crazy over dejuane and the next you want space from him so pick now
Y: but dejuane aren't you with malu?
Dejuane: yea but i can break up with her
Y: i'm choosing derek
Derek: yessssss
Dejuane: wait why
Y: because dejuane that shows me that you haven't changed you were willing to leave malu so fast for me but you just got with her do you not see a pattern here you do that with every girl you date and it's messed up it's like as soon as i want you back or think i do you leave any girl you're with for me but you cheat on me just to go be with the same girl again i don't know if you think you can have two girlfriends at the same time or something but that's not how it works buddy especially if you plan on one of those girls being me if you were dedicated to me and only me i wouldn't have a problem going back to you but that's not the case you become dedicated to me for a while then when you feel like you have my trust back you use it against me to go and do sneaky shit behind my back
Dejuane: so one mistake defines all of me as a person
Y: what ONE MISTAKE there's multiple dejuane fucking multiple you cheated on me multiple times in atl, you cheated on me when i was pregnant, you cheated on me the day i gave birth to dj, you cheated on me with that heather girl, you kissed that one girl that "kissed you but you tried to pull away", you cheated on me with davine after i came back from a trip, and if i'm correct you cheated on me a month or 2 ago 4 months after we got married so i don't understand what "one mistake" you're talking about
Dejuane: i made mistakes ok i'm human what do you expect
Y: yea you have but over and over again is routine not a mistake so excuse me for not wanting to get played again
Dejuane: not everyone is perfect like you y/n got damn it so get over yourself
Y: i never claimed to nor do i wanna be, yes i've done messed up shit that i can't take that back and i regret it and i admit that but at least i fucking own up to it
Dejuane: sorry we can't all try and kill ourselves then have everyone all in our faces wanting to date us then when we get a few people saying we're ugly wanna kill ourselves again it just shows how self absorbed you are
Y: i didn't do it because they called me ugly dumbass it's because they talked about my dead siblings and how my father used to be abusive it just goes to fucking show that you don't care and you don't listen because someone who cares wouldn't even think about telling people my fucking business because no one knew about that yet but you and derek
Kobe: why didn't you tell me
Y: because i thought i could trust dejuane and i didn't want to bring anyone else into the situation but now i know that all dejuane will do with my private information is throw it in my face every time something goes wrong all i did was pick derek i didn't want to chose YOU AND HIM made me so why do you get mad when i give you my answer and why can't you just fucking stay loyal to one girl you're standing here arguing with me about me not choosing you when you have a whole ass girlfriend i don't know what goes through your mind to think i would choose you but no that's not how it works so why don't you stop being a self centered bitch and consider the shit that comes out of your dumbass mouth because if i wanted everyone to know i would've fucking told them myself how about instead of worrying who i'm with you worry about if you'll be able to not cheat on malu bitch

after that i storm up the stairs and go shower and once i'm finished i brush through my hair and condition it then i lay in bed turning on a movie and putting my head under the cover until i fall asleep

bruh i had this saved as a draft for 3 hours 😭 i'm sorry i had practice but i'm probably gonna reread my story so i can critique my story and see what i need to work on 🙃❤️and stop asking yes y/n and dejuane will get together again but not yet at all 🤪 yea