Why am I never enough??

part 100

(i've never thought i would've made 100 chapters when i first started this book i only planned on making 30 but you guys are the reason i kept writing and no the book isn't over lol for the person that thought that)

back to y/n pov:
i did feel something when i kissed dejuane i felt like i could touch the stars but i know if i go back i'll just end up heart broken again so what's best for me is to at least try and avoid going back to him for now but anyways i ended up having another dream that dejuane got hurt in some way so i sprung out my sleep and looked around and once again everyone was peacefully sleeping so to clear my mind i get up and put on one of dejuanes hoodies because his was the first one i saw then i grab my phone and walk out the door i knew i had to come back soon though because we had to leave in a few hours to catch our plane back home but i forget about that for now and i just kept walking then i sit on this curb and watch the sun rise clear up some kind space then someone comes and taps on my shoulder and i jump up

Y: omg don't do that you scared the shit out of me
Dejuane: my bad
Y: why are you even here?? did you follow me??
Dejuane: no not necessarily i walked behind you without you knowing to make sure you were ok
Y: yes so you followed me and i'm fine
Dejuane: are you sure you seem like you had a lot going on
Y: yea i'm just overthinking everything will be fine
Dejuane: wanna talk about it
Y: not really because you have something to do with it
Dejuane: doesn't mean i can't listen
Y: well i'm confused it's like i want you but i also want to get over you and i know that'll take a while because you can't just throw away 3 years and i got with derek to get over you but he's also a really good guy and i don't want to hurt him all because i can't get over you so at this point i don't know if i should stop "dating" derek and just focus on myself or continue trying to find someone else but it's like no matter what i do or who i'm with i always think about this bitch named dejuane mccoy and i can't help it and yesterday when i was with derek i almost called him your name thank God both of y'all names start with Ds or i would've been fucking screwed
Dejuane: maybe you should come back to me then
Y: hell no maybe one day but not today because i just feel like you're never gonna change and i don't want to be in the middle of whatever drama you try to put me in because every time i stick up for you i have to go against all of my morals
Dejuane: but i want you
Y: i know because you won't stop fucking reminding me but you never act like it and in case you forgot actions speak louder than words
Dejuane: well then just give me time to prove it to you
Y: fine but this doesn't mean we're back together
Dejuane: we will be soon
Y: maybe not but sure

i check my phone to see i have 10 miss calls and 30 texts from the group and all of them are asking where we are and telling me they were heading to the airport and that at the airport they called our plane already so basically they left without us and i show dejuane then when he finished reading the messages we run back to the hotel room and once we get there we get just our bags then i leave money for the cleaning service then we get a taxi to the airport and once we arrive they tell us the next flight to jersey isn't until tomorrow so we'll be stuck in the airport over night so we do and sit down on the chairs

Y: great just great
Dejuane: we'll be fine
Y: never said we wouldn't ass it's a fucking airport
Dejuane: bitch dont make me drag you
Y: please try it hoe

me and dejuane laugh and talk and sometimes just sit on our phones and now it's 11:30pm and we got 30 more minutes

Dejuane: so if you still love me why'd you slap me when i kissed you
Y: because i couldn't just not hit you and it was definitely therapeutic
Dejuane: bitch
Y: i'll slap you again don't play
Dejuane: come closer
Y: for what
Dejuane: just do it nigga
Y: damn fine bitch

the dumb bitch kisses me and i kiss back because i'm dumb asf but then i pull away and he laughed while rolled my eyes and slapped him upside the head then our plane was called so we got on and i went to sleep then 2 hours later we landed in jersey so i decided to go to the old house for a little since it was still morning when i go there no ones really there but ansley, hailey, cherry, artis, andre and justin so i say hey to them then i go to my old room and i see they turned it into a game room and i noticed a controller with my pictures on it so i pick it up

Y: aww you missed me
Dejuane: bruh that controller is old i don't even use it anymore
Y: seems like it's been used recently to me
Dejuane: did i ask
Y: no but you lied hoe
Dejuane: omg get out

dejuane pushed me out the game room while i laughed then i went in the living room with him and we sat on the couch with the others watching movies until it started getting late so i laid down and ended up falling asleep

bro Alejandro replied to me but this is what he said

btw that's his spam sorry not sorry and all because i asked a question 😭