Why am I never enough??

part 148

when y/n woke up it was the afternoon and she asked kairi how much longer they had and he said 2 hours so she asked him to get food so they stopped at some random restaurant and even though she didn't want to y/n went in with everyone else and as they sat down she sat sideways with her head leaned against kobe and while the others talked she sat there not really saying anything just looking at her feet and moving them around until there food came and she ate half of it then she got the rest to go so as they walked to the car the others were trying to get her to talk and she said a few words but most of the time her voice would crack with everything she said so she really didn't want to talk after a while so once they got in the car she just turned on the radio and zoned out while the others talked thinking she was listening and once they realized she wasn't most of them went to sleep until it was just kairi and y/n awake so he tapped her shoulder and she turned her head looking at him

Kairi: are you ok
Y: i guess
Kairi: i'm serious y/n you haven't talked in hours and you aren't acting like yourself
Y: i'm sorry kai it's just everything he said is replaying in my head and it's really getting to me
Kairi: i can't stay it's ok and i can't give you any advice if you don't tell me what he said y/n
Y: i want to i really do but i know it's going to hurt
Kairi: all because it hurts doesn't mean it isn't the right thing to do y/n i want to help and be there
Y: ok kai

i told kairi word for word what he said and like i knew it i just ended up crying more but once i calmed myself down i looked at kairis hand that he stuck out and i held it as i looked back out the window

Kairi: you know none of that is true right
Y: sounds true to me
Kairi: see y/n that's what i mean you let other people affect how you see yourself you shouldn't do that the only person who should have a say so in how and what you feel about yourself is you
Y: i know bubs and it's gonna take a while for me to stop letting people do that but i will soon i promise
Kairi: just know that the people that truly love and care for you are in this car right now so even in moments where you feel like it's you against the world then know that's not true because we'll always be here whenever you need us to
Y: thank you kairi i really needed to hear that
Kairi: ill always be here to make you feel better
Y: and that's why you're my favorite
Mattia: damn you say that when you think we're sleep i'm hurt
Y: how long have y'all been listening
Alejandro: long enough to know what dejuane said to you and i just want you to know it's not true and we love you so much just like kai said
Kobe: and you are caring yea there's times where i want to choke the shit out of you in more than one way haha but i still love you
Y: see kobe is a pervert kick him out the fucking car
Melissa: he did make you smile though
Y: i guess but one smile doesn't count
Robert: what would make you feel better
Y: i really just want to go home and eat ice cream and stay in bed all day and cry some more
Sharan: if we do that will you cheer up after
Y: maybe it really just depends but i don't want to rush myself into feeling better because then i'll feel like i'm trying to hide my emotions and i've done that before and it only ended up with me in a hospital bed
Angel: we understand you can heal on your own time we won't rush you
Y: i really do appreciate you guys so much and i never want y'all to think i don't because y'all are my yellow
Kairi: your yellow??
Y: the reason i smile and laugh and the reason i have to live and that's why i say y'all are my yellow because there are so many times where i've felt like i didn't belong but y'all change that every time and i couldn't be more grateful for you guys i swear i'm so happy when i'm around you guys but when i'm around others it's like i have to change who i am to fit in and i can never repay you guys for that
Kobe: aww shut up bitch before you make us cry
Y: this is why i'm not nice to kobe
Jale: who is
Kobe: fun fact actually really really sad fact y/n is actually nice to me
Kairi: she is nice to kobe she just be lying
Y: fuck you guys i'm about to stop talking again
Kairi: and i'll crash this car
Y: and we'll be dead
Kj: i don't want to die
Y: well with kairi driving we all might
Kobe: now why would you tell him that
Y: do you want me to lie
Kobe: yes not everyone is suicidal like you
Y: you know i would usually be beyond offended and probably stop talking to you but i'm going to listen to what kairi told me
Kairi: as you should
Dj: what's suicidal
Kobe: what your mom is
Y: ok bitch now you getting off
Gabby: ong he is
Y: ugly mother fucker
Kobe: can't be that ugly if you f-
Y: YURRR how far we got now
Kairi: a few more minutes
Kobe: not you cutting me off with my lingo
Y: fuck you and your lingo
Kobe: when
Y: i will jump out of this fucking car keep playing
Azlynn: why??
Y: because kobe is a pervert
Kobe: yea a pervert that you fu-
Y: WHAT a nice day outside maybe we should hang out today instead of going home
Mattia: finally we need some sunlight
Sharan: i want to go to a beach
Y: the beach it is then we can go home
Kairi: sounds fine to me

we make our way to the beach now instead of the house which was only 30 minutes from each other so once we made it we went in the trunk and got our bathing suits out of our suitcases then we went in the bathrooms putting them on and i put the kids on then we walked to the water and i sat down on the sand while the kids and the others went to the water until later kobe came to me and sat down next to me

Y: go away weirdo
Kobe: no
Y: i know you're obsessed with me
Kobe: far from it babes
Y: no your actually pretty close
Kobe: anyways when are we having fun again
Y: never because you don't know how you shut up
Kobe: wait no i was joking
Y: well i'm not anyways have fun i'm going to go swim
Kobe: drown
Y: if i do i'll come back and haunt you

y/n walked off as kobe laughed and watched her walk to the water looking at her butt then he got up and ran to her getting in the water also

my teacher keeps asking if i'm ok all because i'm not talking 💀