Why am I never enough??

part 76

i woke up feeling like my shit was gonna eat my intestines and i was gonna throw it all up and i was pacing through the living room back and forth as the girls watched

Y: i don't think i can do this
Hailey: girl shut the fuck up you'll be fine
Y: i'm so nervous what if he doesn't like my dress or the way i look or what if he doesn't show up
Cherry: why don't you think about the good things
Y: i can't the bad thoughts are so loud
Ansley: just sit down and breathe
Y: i can't i really can't i think i'm having a panic attack is this what it feels like omg i feel like someone had a foot on my chest what even is that like you know because i never lost a fight is it like someone sleeping on you or is it harder i bet it's harder

as i was rambling hailey came and slapped me

Y: bitch!!
Hailey: y/n calm tf down you're gonna be fine
Cherry: someone needed to slap you
Cynthia: fr before you talked out ears off
Y: ok ok i'm good
Ayaina: ok now come on so we can get ready
Y: ugh i'm so nervous but ok

we head to the dressing room aka the walk in closet and we sit at the vanity and i just look in the mirror thinking and thinking, then hailey came over to me with makeup and started putting it on my face while i looked at her then once she finished my hair dresser i hired came inside and i sat still looking in the mirror the whole time while she finished and when she was done it looked so pretty

^^the hair

then i showed the girls and they all had huge grins so then i went to the middle of the living room and the lady came and put my dress on for me

^^the dress

then i showed the girls once again

Hailey: you look so pretty

she says crying along with everyone else

Y: omg stop before you make me cry
Ayaina: omg you look so nice
Y: bruhhh stop
Cherry: it feels like yesterday we just met you
Ansley: and now you're marrying our "brother"
Cynthia: so happy for you
Y: stoppppppppppp