Why am I never enough??

part 120

once i woke up and all the kids besides dj were sleep so i pick him up and walk downstairs see everyone talking to see lucianna i put dj down and let him go play with his toys then i went to the kitchen to cook him food then the group forms around me with a box

Cherry: we got you something
Y: i don't want it
Andre: come on y/n we're trying to apologize
Y: wouldnt need to if you didn't forget
Larray: damn bitch we're trying to make it up
Ballo: you're acting so entitled
Mike: and you wonder why we've been hanging out lucianna more it's because she's actually caring
Mattia: yea y/n i thought differently of you but these last few days you been showing your true colors
Kairi: i guess you weren't who we thought

at this point everyone was turning against me so tears fell down my face and with all my strength i throw a glass and it hits the wall shattering everyone

Dejuane: WHAT THE FUCK
Y: i can't do this anymore!!!
Derek: do what
Y: live with y'all i'm tired of feeling left out and abandoned and like no one gives a fuck about me if i wanted that i could've stayed with my mom but no i always tried to make sure everyone around me was happy and smiling but ever since lucianna came around everything is about her and the rest is fuck me well then keep it that way but i hope y'all are happy with her but when she turns out to be like the rest please don't fucking call me or come anywhere near me as far as i'm concerned y'all are all dead to me and the rest is fuck y'all i gave y'all 4 years of love and happiness and now it's all getting thrown in my face and damn kairi and mattia it hurts most that y'all said it at this point i expected it from everyone but if i knew one thing it was that y'all would never do it but i guess i was wrong but like i said no matter how much i love y'all you guys are dead to me and please don't contact me i'll make sure to be out by tonight and whenever i find a house i'll be back for the kids and dejuane since you couldn't give a fuck then please burn in hell fuck all of you guys and that's on me

with that i walk out and sit in my room quietly crying trying not to wake the kids and i get all my suitcases and bags and i start packing my stuff and i pack everything besides my dressers and vanity's ofc but then i see my ring and i just leave it on the night stand along with the roses and card plus the scrap book then i just go back and forth putting my bags in the car then i give the kids a kiss and i hug them and let them know i'll be back then i throw my keys to the house then i get in the car and drive to a hotel and once i get to the room i knock on the door

Offset: what you doing here
Y: i just need a place to stay until tomorrow
Chris: you can crash with us for sure
Y: thank you i'll be out tomorrow
Giveon: stay as long as you want
Y: i am which is today dumbass
Drake: how you crying and still feisty
Y: being upset doesn't change who i am jackass
Chris: alrighty you can have my bed and we'll all share one
Y: alright

i get on the bed but before i go to sleep i call a few girls that i became friends with on social media but never met then i go to sleep....once i woke up i thanked them then i went house shopping and since i had enough money to buy the house up front i found a house that i liked then i called the owner of the house and i waited hours until they finally came and i paid for the house then i decided i didn't feel like buying a new dresser or vanity so once i got the keys i went back to the old house and knocked on the door

Kairi: thought we were dead to you

i didn't say anything i just pushed past them and went upstairs and unscrewed my vanity then when i go out side the girls are surrounding the door

Nia: why'd you come back
Y: can y'all move
Dixie: no don't say all that shit then walk back in here
Y: bro move
Tatyanah: we can shoot you because you trespassed
Y: do it since y'all so bad do it FUCKING DO IT

they all just stand there looking at each other

Y: that's what i thought pussies now get the fuck out my way bitches

i push them out the way then i put my things in the car and i drive off and once i make it to my new house i go up 2 flight of stairs then i sit on the floor and put my vanity together and i sit on the floor thinking and stressing yea i missed everyone but sometimes people fall off and i wish nothing but the best for them but i won't be their friend no more because they made that choice to replace me so i'll make sure they get exactly what they want once i snap out of my thoughts i order 6 beds and 12 dressers with thousands of clothes hangers and couches and tables along with chairs then i go to the store and buy laundry detergent, dish washing liquid, fabric softener, toys for when the kids come, tvs, games, movies, food, snacks, bar stools, led lights, colorful string lights, plates, cups, silverware, soap, body wash, hair brushes, body scrub, toothpaste, toothbrush, and just some outdoor decorations then i go to victoria secret and got bras and panties with lotion and perfume then i go to bath and body works and get more body wash and once i'm done i go back home and it takes hours to get everything set up because i'm doing it all by myself then once i finish i lock all the doors then plop on the floor and without a blanket and i force myself to sleep

bro my moms trying to make me let her read my story 😭🏃🏾‍♀️💨