Why am I never enough??

part 92

~2 weeks later~
me and jared started dating and we had davines baby shower because turns out she was farther along than we all thought and she's having a boy but today was the day before playlist so we loaded into the car and i drove while jared was in the passenger seat and everyone else was in the back and jared had his hand on my thigh talking to me then we pulled up to the old house and derek, mike, and vallyk got in along with davine because dejuane invited her which didn't really bother me but after that we drove off and got some breakfast then continued to the airport once we got there we got out and got our luggage checked then sat down and waited until our plane was called until then i sat in jared's lap and he had his arms around my waist and i was showing him some funny videos and we were just laughing our asses off and messing with each other then our plane was called so we boarded and i stayed awake with jared the whole time just talking about random things that popped in our minds then once we made it we got off the plane, grabbed our bags, got in the car we rented, got some food then headed to our he hotel, this time we were all sharing a room and there was only 2 beds so we had to have 6 people in each bed and someone on the couch because there was 13 of us which were me, dejuane, jared, sora, kobe, lexi, monroe, devyn, diego, derek, mike, vallyk and davine so once we made it to the room we put our bags down

Y: i automatically get a bed because my ankle is broken and davine gets one because she's pregnant
Jared: well i'm sleeping with y/n so
Dejuane: i'm sleeping with davine i guess
Y: so that leaves sora, kobe, lexi, monroe, devyn, diego, mike, derek, and vallyk
Jared: let's do it like basketball we take turns picking one person to sleep with us
Y: alright me first we'll take derek
Derek: yessir
Dejuane: we got vallyk
Vallyk: ha
Y: come on kobe
Kobe: yurr
Dejuane: alright sora
Y: um let's go mike
Dejuane: come on lexi
Y: fuck this come on diego and devyn
Dejuane: fuck no monroe sleeping on the couch
Y: HAHA nope she sleeping with y'all no one sleeping on the couch
Dejuane: bruh no
Y: stop being mean
Dejuane: omg fine

we all got in the beds i was in the middle and on the right of me was jared, and kobe and on the right was derek, and mike and at the foot of the bed was devyn and diego once we got comfortable jared laid his head on my chest and everyone was watching what was on tv then i look at dejuane and he's rubbing davines stomach and he looks and me with a bright happy smile so i return the same one then look back at the tv then i go to sleep and when i wake up it was time to get ready for the event so me and jared matched and while everyone was getting dressed jared laid his head on my lap facing me and smiling so i kissed him a few times then while i was still giving him kisses monroe comes out and looks at us then she goes to her bag and finds some socks but i don't really care so i continue kissing jared

Kobe: get a room
Diego: fr we been standing here for a minute just seeing y'all kiss
Y: does that not sound weird to you
Diego: it does when i say it out loud but it didn't in my head
Jared: well in your head you're a weirdo
Dejuane: can we go now
Y: yea, baby can you pass me my crunches
Jared: yea
Diego: shut up y'all make me feel single
Y: because you are bitch

we all laughed then we got our wallets and walked out we decided to walk to the function which wasn't that far then once we got their the place was full of vibes and i met some of my most loyal supporters and some people that been supporting for years then me and jared made couple tiktoks then we headed to the questioning room just like last time and we sat down in the chairs as the supporters came in waving at us and cheering then once they were all in there the host passed them a mic and they took turns asking question

??: OMG Y/N IM LOVE.Y/N ON INSTAGRAM
Y: omg hi girlie i love you what's your name
??: MY NAME IS LAILA
Y: that's such a pretty name i'm glad you came to see me
Laila: CAN YOI FOLLOW ME BACK ON MY SOCIALS I FOLLOW ALL OF YOURS
Y: omg ofc i can i'll do it right now

i pulled out my phone and added her back on every single social then once i heard her phone get the notifications she screamed then jumped up and down as i smiled at her and put my phone in my pocket then we continued to get asked questions and once we finished we took pictures with our supporters which took hours then once we finished day 1 i went back to the room with the others and laid on the bed and propping my leg up on jared

Y: davine how far along are you
Davine: oh i give birth in 2 months
Y: damn already
Davine: i know right
Dejuane: that actually reminds me of something i wanted to ask you davine
Davine: what is it
Dejuane: will you marry me??
Davine: OMG OFC

when those words came out it felt like i was stabbed in the heart and everyone in the room turned and looked at me i got my crunches and left out the room with just stream of tears coming out yea i know he cheated and i should be over him but he knew i loved him because i made a promise that no matter what happened i always would and to know that he was basically replacing me hurt more than i could describe all i knew is i didn't want to go back in that room but i had to i put my phone on dnd and walked around just crying for hours then i walked back in the room and everyone's head shot to me but i continued walking to the bed with my head down

Dejuane: y/n
Y: i don't wanna talk right now
Dejuane: i do love davine and i want to be with her
Y: then do what makes you happy
Dejuane: but i don't want to see you cry
Y: well then i don't know what to tell you
Dejuane: i want you to be happy for me
Y: i am
Dejuane: be truly happy for me 
Y: i can't but at least maybe you won't hurt her like you hurt me and continue doing
Jared: y/n maybe we should put us on hold until your feelings are situated
Y: sure i don't care i don't wanna talk right now so can y'all just shut the fuck up
Dejuane: all i'm asking is that you be happy with my decision
Y: HOW DEJUANE FUCKING HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BE HAPPY FOR YOU WHEN YOU LITERALLY JUST ASKED THE GIRL YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH WHEN WE WERE MARRIED TO BE YOUR WIFE AND YOU KNEW I STILL LOVED YOU BECAUSE I PROMISED THAT I ALWAYS WOULD BUT YOU DONT CARE YOU NEVER CARE ABOUT NO ONE BUT YOURSELF I TRIED TO MOVE ON I REALLY FUCKING DID BECAUSE I KNEW YOU WOULD MOVE ON WITH OR WITHOUT ME BUT SHIT DOESNT ALWAYS GO AS PLANNED SO NO DEJUANE I WONT BE FUCKING HAPPY FOR YOU AND I NEVER WILL BE YEA IM HAPPY TO SEE YOU HAPPY BUT IM NOT HAPPY TO KNOW THAT YALL ARE GETTING MARRIED BECAUSE I CANT DO THAT NOW LIKE I JUST FUCKING SAID LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE AND BE HAPPY WITH DAVINE JUST TRY NOT TO CHEAT ON HER LIKE YOU DID WITH ME AND WHEN SHE BREAKS YOUR HEART DONT COME CRYING TO ME BECAUSE I WONT GIVE A FUCK!!!!!

everyone went silent then i get under the cover and bury my face in the pillow until i fall asleep

dejuanes an ass but anyways i got 20.4k likes on my fanpage on tiktok 🥰 my @ is dejuanescumrag