Why am I never enough??

part 145

when i woke up i got from in between the boys and i sat at the foot of the bed with my face in my hands then i got up and showered and got dressed then i walked out the room and got a pancake and some orange juice and i saw dejuane all on ansley and not gonna lie it hurt a little knowing that i went from him marrying me to him wanting me as a toy but i rolled my eyes and went in the room but once i finished eating i brushed my teeth and did my hair then i woke the boys up and they did nearly the same thing i did then once they were all finished we sat in the room talking and spilling dirt that we had on others in the house because we messy like that then dejuane walked in and he stood at the doorway and we all just looked at each other then back at him

Y: um what do you want
Dejuane: to talk to you
Y: i'm good
Mattia: go y/n it might be important
Y: fine

i go out the room following dejuane and we go outside the hotel room standing in front of the door and dejuane leaned on it and looked down

Dejuane: i took what you said and i asked ansley to date me
Y: well that's not what i told you to do but what about it
Dejuane: well she has one rule
Y: ok what is it
Dejuane: i can't talk or have any physical contact to or with you
Y: well i'm guessing you said no
Dejuane: that's the thing i said yes
Y: so after everything it's her over me
Dejuane: your moving on so why can't i
Y: i never said i was with mike it was just times where we let our emotions get the best of us
Dejuane: i'm sorry y/n
Y: so that's it huh all we had is gone now right
Dejuane: y/n don't make this harder on me
Y: oh i'm sorry this must be killing you inside i'm sorry that the person you fell in love with is telling you they can't talk to you no more over a girl that was supposedly just your best friend and i'm sorry that the person who broke your heart more times than you can count and you still took them back every time is replacing you and i'm so sorry that even when that person hit you that you forgave them because you felt as if they had enough to deal with so forgive me for making this so hard on you
Dejuane: ........y/n
Y: no just make sure to let everyone know that i was happy and you messed that up

i walk back in the house with my head down and tears pouring down my face then i go in the room and i look at the boys still crying and their eyes water and they open their arms and i walk to them and just cry while they had me wrapped in one big hug and through tears i told them what he said and they hugged me tighter while i just continued crying then by the time i was done the boys fell alseep and i had no tears left to cry and i looked terrible and i had tissue in my nose because it was running like crazy and i had my hair in a messy bun then i walked out the room

Lexi: damn girlie what's wrong
Y: i'm fine

dejuane looked at me and i could see his eyes starting to water then he turned away and looked back at his phone

Angel: baby that's the biggest lie i've ever heard
Y: why does it matter no one can make me feel better right now
Derek: come here y/n what's wrong

i go to derek and he gives me a hug and even though i thought that was all the tears more came and i was crying even harder now and once my cries got louder to where everyone could hear they all put me in one big hug and i kept crying worse then i did last time then i made myself stop and i wiped my eyes while everyone pulled away until it was just derek hugging me again then once he pulled away i just sat on the ground with my head down and not talking

Mike: poor baby what's wrong
Y: i don't want to say
Ansley: you're just overdramatic
Derek: ansley right now is not the time
Ansley: she's just upset that i told dejuane he can't talk to her no more and he listened
Vallyk: that can't be true
Y: it is vallyk see watch this, hey dejuane
Dejuane: .........
Gabby: that's so fucking childish ansley if you're that insecure then maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship
Ansley: i'm not insecure especially not over y/n
Y: ok and derek do me a favor and watch the kids

i get up and walk out the hotel and go near the pool and i sit down crying and looking into the water just shaking my head and trying to get the tears to stop then i go to the bar in the hotel and take a shot after shot until they cut me off then i go back in the hotel room and everyone is in there rooms so i stumble to kobes room and i go in and shake him awake then once he's up i kiss him and he pulls me off

Kobe: no y/n you're drunk and you are only doing this because of how hurt you are
Y: and just make me feel better for tonight please
Kobe: you were literally not even talking to me a few minutes ago
Y: i just want to feel better just for tonight
Kobe: you need to go to sleep y/n
Y: please kobe
Kobe: no y/n you're gonna regret this
Y: no i won't please come on kobe i just want to feel wanted then you can go back to ignoring me
Kobe: i won't be able to do that and you know and plus this will be the first time we ever do this together and you really think i'll be able to forget about it
Y: then don't forget remember it forever and so will i but kobe i need you right now please

Kobe pov:
after we finished and y/n was on my chest sleep with dried tears i got tissues to wipe them then i fixed her hair and i laid there feeling bad for her then i felt my eyes getting watery so i wiped them then i hugged her tightly until i fell asleep

never mind i ate cereal 😒