𝕭𝖔𝖓𝖉𝖎 𝕽𝖊𝖘𝖈𝖚𝖊 𝕴𝖒𝖆𝖌𝖊𝖘 ¹

Jesse/Maxi - Borderline

Jesse's POV:

I was in the changing rooms and I was just thinking about how I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to live anymore as I feel different to everyone else. I only feel different from everyone else because I have a borderline personality which means that I didn't want to be abandoned by anyone and I also don't do well with change.

Only Maxi and Hoppo know that I have it. Hoppo knows because he is my boss and he has read the form and Maxi knows because he is my soulmate. Maxi doesn't know that it was affecting me really strong as I didn't want to worry him.

It's only affecting me really strong because of my licence. The licence is my driving permission and everyone has it for 10 years but for some reason, I have one for 5 years so I feel different to everyone else with it.

I didn't want to live anymore because of it so I decided to commit suicide by overdosing on the antipsychotic pills that I have been prescribed. It's called Abilify and I react to 2.5mg of it when others react to the 15mg dose. Because there isn't a 2.5mg tablet of Abilify I have to cut a 5mg tablet in half with a cutter that is specifically made to cut the pill up.

I decided to grab 5 of my pills and swallow them and wait but before I could do it Hoppo finds me then says "Jesse. Stop. Don't do that. We can help you with it. Just please don't swallow the pills."

I just looked at him and turned around and said "No one can help me. You or Maxi doesn't know what I am going through. NO ONE ELSE KNOWS ABOUT WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH," I said to Hoppo and I start shouting at the end to get my point across. I knew that he couldn't stop me so I swallowed all 5 of the pills.

After I swallowed all 5 of the pills Hoppo asked me "Who do you want to meet? I'll do everything I can do to help you."

I then turned around and pleaded to Hoppo "I want my delight, my Maxi." Hoppo then radio's down to Maxi and tells him that he needs to come to his office. Hoppo then walks to his office and 5 minutes later he returns with Maxi.

When Maxi sees me on the floor he runs over to me and sits down next to me. Maxi then puts my head in his lap and I then cry while lying down in Maxi's lap.

I was crying for around about 5 minutes but then I felt sick so I got up and ran to the bathroom. I heard footsteps behind me and when I was throwing up I heard Maxi comfort me while he was rubbing my back.

I finished throwing up 5 minutes later and when I finished I realised that I threw up 3 of the tablets so 2 of them were still in my body. I then started to feel dizzy and I passed out in Maxi's arms.

Maxi's POV:

After Jesse passed out in my arms I heard a knock on the bathroom door and then someone says "Maxi. Is Jesse alright?" I knew that it was Hoppo after he said that as he knew that he was the only one to know about it.

I then replied saying "Yeah. He's fine. He has just passed out on my lap. Can I take Jesse home and look after him?"

"Yeah, that's fine Maxi. I hope he feels better soon."

I then take Jesse back home and I then stay there with him to look after him so when he does wake up he doesn't feel alone/abandoned.

---The next day---

Jesse's POV:

When I woke up I felt myself in someone's arms and when I turned around I saw that it was Maxi who was holding me. I then woke him up and then when Maxi tries to ask me what happened yesterday I started crying and while I was I let it all out. I told him that I took 5 pills because of the less duration of my licence.

Maxi turned to me and said, "Ok. Look at me." I don't look at him because I was embarrassed but he continued and said "Jesse. Seriously look at me." I then look at him and he continued to say "Nothing will ever make you any different, I don't love you any less. I love you even more for having the courage to live with such torment, not having talked and in the end has come to me to ask for help."

I then say to him "Thanks for existing my delight." Once I say that we both lean in and kiss each other.

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Thanks for reading this chapter. I finally had the chance to write this book and I nearly started crying while I wrote this. Thanks to  for asking me to write this chapter. I know that it took so long to write it but I have been busy with school work. Also, I am not going to edit any of my chapters until I have finished the book so if you notice a mistake please put it down so I know that I have to change it when I come to editing this book. Hope you have enjoyed reading this chapter.

From

Nicci 💙