life updates for anyone who cares

failed my assignment....

so yeah they werent kidding when they said studying while being married was gonna be hard... it really is and my first ever uni assignment that i failed is proof of that. i got a 50% similarity report on turnitin and obviously thats too high bc its like i didnt even try to paraphrase. 

but apart from that... even tho it was 40% im not a failure. i know im not. i feel like i needed to fail to know how seriously to take my life. like honestly ive been slacking off.. putting my husband before me but that stops now. today,

my uni degree is much more important and will make me a better person than being a wife ever could. being a wife is such a restrictive role and it seems thats all anyone ever sees.

anyways, i could sit here blaming my husband for not understanding but the truth is ava, if you dont take yourself seriously... why should anyone else? if you dont pull up for yourself why should anyone else? it doesnt make sense. your outside world is simply a reflection of you. level 3 units are not gonna be breezy and psychology is not an "easy" subject. its not hard or impossible either but it will require effort. 

and you should not fear effort. so today im at my parents place and have been since last night and this is the only time ive had to myself really and i thought to write down my thoughts before i start studying. my exam is on the 7th and ik i can pull myself out of this bc im going to. im going to get that degree and theres no point sweating the small stuff. nothing is ever too great for you, my darling.

and just bc hes slacking off on uni or life doesnt mean YOU should. remember you two are separate entities. and remember that your education and your home life are both very important but you need to learn to balance both of them. 

dr javaria had to take care of her sick in-laws in the hospital, while having kids and she studied for her exams during that time. yes, you shouldnt compare yourself. but you should feel inspired bc honestly ava you are much more capable than you think.and your thinking is so small im sick of it. life is full of possibilities and opportunities to grow. and this is a step up to new paths. this was a wake-up call to you to take uni more seriously, to take studying more seriously. and seriously i will take it. anyways... maybe ill come back ad write some more... maybe i wont either way, im off to studying!!!