life updates for anyone who cares

husband got a job + MIL starts acting weird

now, i acc had a positive outlook on my MIL for the most part, i knew she struggled with accepting different classes of people that are not rich or that are religious but wow, i didnt know how much.

i try to think of it empathically, but some poop still looks like poop no matter what angle you look at it from. and thats her mindset. Thank Allah for not afflicting me with what he has afflicted her with. im trying my best not to be judgmental but its hard, bc my husband alhamdulilah after a long8-9 months of searching, changing his mind, me crying out for god's sake, he got a tech sales job and its going pretty good so far. the culture is great, the pay is good alhamdulilah, more than anything, i feel like my husband feels like a man more than ever - and hes in a position where he will be learning a lot and im excited to see the prospects and hes such a fast learner - he'll be in a 120k base salary in no time iA

but what interests me is my MIL attitude, not only is she fiendish for what he earns - obvs its normal to know what your son earns but its weirdly eager and shes switching up with me - giving me attitude and condescending tone of voice. 

i was already not hanging out with her, bc it always leads to sin etc. but my SIL J, my current fave person in the house, told me that my MIL was making fun of my fitness level in front of everyone by saying "me and dad went on a walk with ava and she couldnt keep up with dad, he wasnt even walking that fast, and now shes going twice a week to classes and finding them challenging"

i dont trust J to defend my name, bc she doesnt even defend her own so how can i expect her to "protect" me. only Allah can protect me and only He understands my situation. my husband sees how his mum is changing which is helpful but not really. i now see what J went thru. 

the thing is, my MIL sees her sons as a ticket to 'heaven' or 'financial freedom' and i understand that she expects her sons to take care of her and my FIL but she can have a type of leech-ish attitude.  idk what she expect from them, but from our convos, i know she is still very salty that my FIL was not really "well-off" and "dragged" her thru financial ruin which kinda i can understand bc she came from a well-off family... but why wear it as a badge of honour like thats all that matters in life?

and i see her attitude change with people who earn more and for eg. her eldest son who is also the one that earns the most, the attitude is so different and she treats J like absolute crap as if she thinks J doesnt "deserve" her son... like as if wives dont make husbands' lives way better just by existing and providing comfort and love... like what happened to real love and real character?

and now she feels like im the same.. like as if i have to "work" for my husband's love, approval and "money" whereas shes his mother and she automatically qualifies, and ofc she does but why compete?

so stupid, i really hope im not like this when i grow up and start thinking that the my DIL is useless bc she doesnt earn. i understand i should start cooking and i defs will, but not with that pressure on me.

like i dont like being told or expected to cook, but now that he works, i should start at least cooking twice a week - which i promised i would do once he starts work. so iA.

but i will enter what happens over the consequent days... i hope everything is fine and this is just a passing moment - and i hope im dreadfully wrong about all of this.

right now i want to keep this to myself and not tell J or anyone else unless it gets concerning otherwise i might be creating smth out of fear and as we know, fear breeds fear. and iA i trust myself to speak up when it gets concerning and nip it in the bud