life updates for anyone who cares

meeting rishta #2 family

so we've decided to meet them on the 22nd nov and his mum said that apparently the rishta is "excited" to meet us. i hope she wasn't lying/exaggerating.

i was considering how i shouldnt be complaining that guys marry late if im undermining the seriousness of "young guys" i think hes like 22 gonna turn 23 next year. so the change starts with me. does that mean he'll be a bit immature than a 30 yo? ofc. but why do i want him to act older than he is when hes only 22/23? its not like a 27 yo could be "ready" just bc of his age, i mean just look at my last rishta. so i think its more about if someone is legible (job, business, study, mindset, goals) than how old someone is. and anyway, isnt life more interesting when y'all both dumb and young? besides, i wish i could be immature.

sh*t was getting too serious with the last rishta bc he was kinda too old and wanted kids right away and younger guys would take their time and be more understanding. well, anyways, i hope so. i mean theres no "timeline"

but ik i be talking too soon but maybe if i put it on paper i can stop thinking about it. mum told me that shes already had two dreams where my nano was accepting this rishta and another one where my nana was accepting it. basically we were in the process of telling rishta #2 that we accept the proposal etc.

so idk what that means, maybe my views are becoming skewed bc of it, which is why i want to put all my conflicts of interest in this book so that i can come back to read and evaluate.

another thing that i think younger guys can do better is be more understanding and atleast try to communicate, maybe its their "desperation" to get married that makes them that way.. but hey a man who listens properly is not a man to complain about.

i dont want to be speaking too soon, but he does seem like hes the one who wants to get married and i feel like if there was any funny business going on, i would've seen it on his insta. but alhamdulilah i didnt find anything.

i also feel there might be chemistry between us but i cant say for sure until we meet them obviously, i hope there is a spark etc bc ngl the last rishta felt like a transaction. so i dont want to feel like im being bought from the market again, i want to be wanted by whoever it is i want to marry. if its him, cool. if its someone else, also cool. but i dont want my marriage to feel like a transaction.

just bc i dont know if love is.. doesnt mean i want a transactional marriage. i am a person and i want to treat my man like hes a person too which is i want to get to know him and not just what he "can do for me" even tho thats important.

obviously, as a girl who has to get pregnant eventually, i need to be secure and trust that my man wont just "run out of funds". which is one thing that is concerning to me, but i dont think it is the case but ill mention it anyway: im a little bit unsure about what they think about going 50/50 bc the whole family thinks ambition is important (no hate) but i think thats bc business-minded people need ambitious people which makes sense but i hope that hes not the type to go 50/50 bc no matter how attractive you are, if you a 50/50 man, you not a man. you a woman.

i mean if they have so many businesses, it shouldnt be hard but ye we'll see.

i only got that feeling bc his sister said it was good that i was looking for a job and i was thinking ????? wth. now idk if thats her personal opinion as someone who has been working since they were 15 year olds, but thats not me. i really hope that was her personal opinion and not what the rishta thinks. but then again, even the last rishta's sister encouraged me to find a job (after i said i was looking for a job and also bc she was aware that i wanted to become a psychologist and was giving me tips on how to get into the industry. but it felt different coming from rishta #2's sister.so i really do hope its her personal opinion, i mean her newborn is 3 months old and shes going back to work already... so obviously someone with that mindset will be judgmental of someone who doesnt have a job even tho im not a dude...

anyways we'll see how it goes in shaa Allah. In shaa Allah it goes well