sooooo, its been a while and i havent read what my last entry was about but its been a crazy (two?) months or so. we've been in quarantine, literally, a history book pandemic. and its crazy how restirctions have started to lift as if people were taking it seriously in the first place.
i still want the gym to open bc im tired of being cooped up in this house.
but the biggest thing?
im currently undergoing training for LifeLine... what ive wanted to do for literally months and i missed two face-to-face sessions so im really pissed at myself. but they let me stay, so they are being VERY lenient with me... i feel like im walking on thin ice (understandably) but ye i have NO room for anymore mistakes bc ive been so careless.
and its not just with LifeLine,
I scratched my car in a parking lot and ive been saying stupid things all the time like it doesnt even make sense?
this whole week has been so overwhelming for me but ik that despite everything, LifeLine trusts me with this opportunity and I must take it much more seriously than I have been and its not even intentional.
like if this was a joke to me, i wouldnt have literally ANNOYED them since november 2019, but im honestly so grateful that they're still allowing me to go thru so im very happy about that and yet feel so guilty. so im trying to cut that guilt off but idk how.
ramadan has been sooooo full on its crazy and i had such big assignments due and every day is running into each other, it feels like a depressed person's life uno?
like idek what the date is rn or what the time is.. its all the same. and im so sick and tired of zoom meetings like ughhhh its just annoying tbh
in other words im at 2764 followers in tiktok but i will be on 5 million by the end of the this year on December 2020
I know i'll reach it bc i said ill be at 2000 or above at the end of Ramadan and i was at 2300 + followers!!!!!
so happy, my dreams are taking place, they're happening.
this is not out of reach
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