life updates for anyone who cares

im happy :)

so i realised im always complaining here but its time to be more positive. ive realised how long and far ive come since i started this book. its been 9 months already!! and im not codependent anymore, ive learnt my emotional/energy boundaries and clearly expressed this with the people i felt were energy vampires. ive largely achieved most of what i wanted to this year, with only 4 months to go!!

time really does fly. i dont feel like its august, it still feels like its june to me but its been a while and honestly this wattpad has felt like an amazing purge. ive traacked my progress so i can never say to myself that i didnt do well or i havent done anything. this wattpad is PROOF that im going places and im so excited, this wattpad is proof that im achieving my goals and becoming the person ive always wanted to be: y higher self.

it honestly feels like i started this book a few months ago, maybe 4 months ago but its been 9 months!! thats crazy

lifeline's going really well, im learning new things all the time and also coped really well during suicide calls bc honestly ive learned how to stay present. i dont freak out anymore. i stay calm. i stay in my frame and in my state of mind. a guy called me a "f***ing sl*t" on the phones - obviously i reported it as unwelcome - but i just started laughing.

my first call was an imminent and it was my first imminent suicide (she had a rope in front of her) and i dealt with it so normally that my ISS insisted i take a break, lol. he saw how calm i was and was genuinely impressed. he says im doing great and will pass with flying colours - i agree. ive definitely dealt  with all of this with grace.

well, im happy to say idc about my half-sister anymore. i'd say ive successfully emancipated from her, bc nothing she says gets to me anymore. probably smth i might have to still work on is play-fighting with her.. bc shes unpredictable. sometimes she'll play along and random times she'll just be a basic b*tch about it... anyways.. shes honestly not that important in my life anymore. and im glad

nothing she says gets to me, i dont let her get under my skin. bc someone who is unhappy with themselves cannot see happiness or be happy for someone else. its as simple as that.

anywho this rishta is going alright i guess, i dont want to say anything's confirmed just yet bc i havent discussed the living arrangement thing with him.... but. ik he'll understand. he has to. he has no choice. anyway, in shaa Allah this all goes thru and i acc do get married to him bc honestly? hes a quality guy ma shaa Allah. im just hoping we can get this living arrangement thing sorted.