life updates for anyone who cares

sister + mum date ..

so i wanted to take out my mum and ofc sister out for a brunch date, idrc about my sister going bc she can go anytime but it was more for my mum and i didnt realise how much she needed it until she started to cry on my shoulder and said that she feels very special.

that made me realise that i have to treat my mum NOW not later, not when "i have more".. but NOW. anyways we went to a nice cafe, the food was ok and my half-sister order sirloin steak and so she didnt specify how she wanted it done so i assumed it was medium-well or medium-rare but i said medium-well

anyways, long story short, she didnt like it at all and kept complaining the whole time that it was "dry" and just had a sook face on the entire time like a frkn child. i tried my best to ignore it and i didnt ask her how her food was bc ik she was gonna be negative again.

but mum did, and she exploded about how she was "annoyed" and i "should've known" how she likes her damn steak like we're so close and always eating steaks. and made sure to tell me she didnt like the food.

i felt very angry at her and wanted to kick her out, and next time i dont even want to bring her with me if thats gonna be her mood. like ok, im sorry that you didnt get MEDIUM RARE but there are people literally DYING and youre out here sooking bc its medium well and apparently "dry" (it wasnt, she was trying to make a point) and mum said, "ok, still say thank you, bc she brought us here etc"

and she goes "thank you for what?? i didnt like my food, it wasnt my standard" and then mum was shocked to see this, but i wasnt.

shes still such a complete witch, and its right under my nose. like damn one thing doesnt go your way and this is how you react?

and then i added "get lost then, why are you here? go pay for your own food" and then she goes "i WaS GoNnA pAy u BaCk" (no the hell she wasnt, she never does)

and then i was exasperated and said "its not about the frkn money" but i knew there was no point arguing and i was not about to cry infront of her dumbass, so i looked at mama and told her "lets leave" and so we left

mama was awkward bc she genuinely had a good time but my half-sister had to be a big baby, she really needs to grow the hell up lol... her dumb letter to me means nothing with that crap-ass attitude.

but you know what? she'll realise once she gets married and lord i cant wait for that.

but anyway, while she was complaining.. i realised why being ungrateful is such a sour and pathetic attitude and i wanted to cry there bc of how many times ive been ungrateful to my husband, esp. when it came to food - and all i wanted to do was hug him right there and then and apologise for all the times ive acted like a child. i was so embarrassed and its probably bc Allah was trying to reflect onto me how i behave with my husband but i am truly so sorry ya rabb ul a'alamiin. pls do not make me of the ungrateful and the pathetic and the miserable.

pls do not make me like shaytaan, and pls dont put me in hell with all the other ungratefuls, pls ya rabb ik why that happened today and its bc you wanted me to see how ungrateful i am to my husband.

but alhamdulilah for my husband, hes not perfect and neither am i but Lord knows i love him more than anyone else in this world. its my husband and my parents on the same level and i love that. rn hes at our place but he is on his way here and i cant wait to tell him this realisation and make him realise that im truly so sorry for whenever ive been a selfish brat. bc wallahi it is a disgusting trait to have.