life updates for anyone who cares

ceasefire??

so idk if i told you or not but ive been 'fighting' with this one girl in my friendship group lets call her F and basically shes just a keyboard warrior and she has all this big personality online but irl shes a little wimp. and i told her all this.. to her face. well, to her online face. but its not smth i wouldnt say to her irl. anyways, she got her little siblings not to say salam to me (how frkn childish omg) and then yesterday we were there for a mutual friend's birthday  and she was just being awkward. thing is.. bc of her everyone feels awkward. even before this fight of ours.

anywho. none of my business, ik she'll eventually break away. she loves to exaggerate people's actual place in their lives. but anyway i honestly dc  about the details. im just here to talk about why im annoyed/angered by her today. so anyway the mutual friend A basically told me that when they met for eid al adha, F told A that she was "tired of being naraz" and that "fighting was affecting her mental health" ... even tho SHE'S the one that blocked me on every platform. fully bothered and i let it go bc honestly shes so batameez i couldnt care less.

anyways, while we were sending each other VNs, she started laughing mid-conversation (that her defense mechanism, being a total asshole) and then expected me to stay calm.. but im a dumbass too and i fell for it.. again.

thing is, i KNOW shes gonna start laughing at some point but sometimes she laughs at such a later point that i dont expect it and it just pisses me off. and shes secretly trying to bring me into her frame. anyways everytime that we hang out (all 5 of us) her presence just makes everything awkward bc no one trusts her.. bc she doesnt trust any of us either. i honestly still dont understand why shes in our group but chile

i think when A told me what she said about her mental health being affected i felt happy and relieved (??) that she was acc being affected by her actions .. the fact that the "fight" was affecting her mental health acc made me a bit relieved. like damn shes not acc heartless. but anyway, i couldnt give two sh*ts.. i told A to tell her to unblock me on insta bc she was making stuff awkward on purpose (she didnt shake my hand on eid-a adha until i literally stood there staring at her, b*tch)

anyways im just happy shes not the only one getting on my nerves and that im also getting on hers. bc thats how it should be but tbh.. idk how to deal with her. shes so unpredictable and unhinged. she'll start screaming out of nowhere. and shes got this weird creepy smile where she'll be screaming but smiling at the same time.. she takes passive aggressive to a whole new level. so thats why i opted out of even trying to communicate with her.. bc iblees left and she came and took his place. shes so completely arrogant that even tho she realises that this is affecting her mental health, she chooses to keep fighting and keep negative vibes.  which is exactly why i dont feel sorry for her.

also when i told A to tell F ot unblock me on insta.. you know what she said? the nerve. she told her "i havent blocked her number" HAHAHAHHAH LOOOOOOOOOOL i literally cannot. i cant. the audacity.

this is why i dont interact with her. but from my side .. honestly i thought it was ceasefire until yesterday A revealed that she was being affected by it (as she should) she practically brought it upon  herself  by being a compete intolerant and bratty little child and blocking on everything. even tho we unfortunately share two groups (ugh) so she knew the consequences. even for the eid gift thing, she cancelled herself out... hopefully she cancels herself out of the group if she has any self-respect left. but she so stubborn and arrogant, wallah may Allah guide her.

this whole day i wasnt feeling sorry for her but now i realise that shes just re-enacting the chaos in her mind. shes been to an all-girls school. her mum is super chaotic. shes mentioned multiple times how her parents argue a lot (idk about anymore) and honestly .. the drama was passed on genetically bc her mum is the same. and i dont think F knows how to live in peace bc she thrives on drama and chaos, which is why she starts laughing out of condescension and bc she ACTUALLY just wants to scream. she has no adab bc shes self-aggrandizing. she loves blaming everyone.

but after all of this.. why do i still let her get to me? idk. maybe bc she also victimises herself as if shes not the one who threw herself under the bus by blocking me on everything. and i STILL didnt create a huge deal bc honestly? i was relieved she cut me out bc ew i dont wanna deal with her sh*t. its not even like shes interesting to begin with. all she knows is paki dramas, whos getting married and whos pregnant. i think ill pass. i hope she exits the group on her own. bc shes gonna get burned.