life updates for anyone who cares

law of assumption - my year 9 self

so this is what i realised... when i was pushed to my ultimate lowest in year 8, i bounced tf back like ufff im proud of myself.

my self-concept was that i am not someone to be messed with, or played around. and i didnt trust easy - so ppl had to earn my trust instead of me giving it away for free. and Allah's made humans so powerful that we underestimate how much we can achieve if we just believe in the good in people and ourselves. 

Allah tells us that he created us without stain and innocent,  so why do we corrupt ourselves with negativity and self-doubt? is this from the quraan and sunnah?

how am i going to make any progress in life if i dont believe im worth it? if i dont believe i matter? if i believe that Allah will change things for me even tho i refuse to change? am i at the mercy of others or my environment?

or am i a revolutionary? a very hot and sexy revolutionary at that. with a tight a$$ and perky t*ts

and a small tiny waist.

how am i going to breed sexy into this world if i dont believe it and see it myself? how will i become successful in any arena and have an amazing marriage with lots of s*x and orgasms if i dont believe i should get it?

no. i have the best of marriages and my husband spoils me all the time, he even got me the laser device that i wanted and our business is kicking off really great. but more than that, hes more afraid to lose me and my love and affection which is what matters. i have a healthy attachment to him. i trust him with all my heart bc ik that even if smth were to happen, it would be fate and a lesson from Allah for me, not to ever trust anyone more than Him. and i love those reminders. even tho they hurt like absolute crap.

and in having all of this and being grateful for it, ive realised that all of this is empty. except my love and worship of Allah which is the only everlasting happiness in this world and the next. and nothing else compares. not even cheetos. not music, not tiktok, not movies, not food, not business, not my husband, not sex. all of these are temporary pleasures in a temporary world. 

and all of this comes easy to me at the same time. i have gotten distinction in all of my units this semester despite me being way busier than before.