life updates for anyone who cares

art of seduction: dandy

so alot happened to me yesterday and im still bewildered and surprised and frankly quite detached from it since it is so emotionally-charged rn for me to even think.

i was reading the art of seduction yesterday by robert greene and i was reading up on the masculine dandy, which is exactly what my charm is. and i felt so inspired and free that greeene put smth into words i didnt even know i was; a dandy, a rare and beautiful flower that seduce both sexually and socially and i genuinely think this is the most powerful tools of all. i felt so liberated bc i am able to freely move thru aspects of my personality without feeling judged by myself. i used to say things like 'no thats a masculine thing to do' etc to stop myself from thinking certain things which is stupid

but when i read this chapter i felt like i had reached my core self again. i had touched her and felt her like i felt her in year 9.

dandies are subtle and never try hard for attention - it comes to them, they show their difference in the little touches that mark their disdain for convention. 'it is not a woman he cares to conquer but a whole group, an entire social world' which is exactly how i feel. i want to captivate the world, i want to captivate men's respect and admiration. i want to be taken by the alpha and be so unattainable and yet i want my alpha to be scared to lose me whereas i am not scared to lose him bc look at all these perfect capable men around me. and only i know that i wont cheat, but i will plant an uncertain seed in him that makes sure he never stops loving me.

this is why i allow polygamy, bc i dont want to be attached to aNYONE. especially not the man that has the capacity to ruin a woman's life in seconds; the man she loves. so i will always remain unattainable - to the men who see me married to the big bad alpha and to my alpha who sees men giving me love, respect and attention and thinks i could slip away at any time.. bc i could, even if i wouldnt.

'her firm, uncompromising manner only deepened falling under the spell of her independence and free spirit'

'but she was put off by his childish dependence on her, his weakness. unable to stand weakness of any kind, she eventually left him' - now this is where i get stuck bc deadass i know im beautiful allahuma barek both in character and looks and that makes people weak. and im looking for a partner, not a fan.

so ye i want him to be so deeply in love with me bc he is unsure if i really like him and i cant just 'dump' my husband bc he caught the feels... uno? so i need to manifest smth that is; he is solely invested in me and im also invested in me (work, kids, hobbies, podcast etc) but its the type of love that isnt suffocating, its a loving-from-far-away type of love. which i never really catch except thru body language and others making fun of him for being so in love with me, but hes never constantly in my face telling me 'ily' bc wallahi that cringes me out to no extent.

'the two emotions every man must feel for him to be seduced are confusion and excitement'

'a man's apparent independence, his capacity for detachment often seems to give him the upper hand in the dynamic between men and women. a purely feminine woman will arouse desire, but is always  vulnerable to a man's capricious loss of interest...follow the path of the masculine dandy and you neutralise a man's power. never give completely of yourself, while you are passionate and sexual, always retain an air of independence and self-possession. you might move onto the next man, or so he will think. you have other, more important matters to concern yourself with, such as your purpose. men do not know how to fight women who use their own weapon against them; they are intrigued, aroused, disarmed. few men can resist the taboo pleasures offered up by to them by the masculine dandy.'

'dandies are masters of the art of living. they live for pleasure, not for work'

'she was fiercely independent and a had a certain emotional distance. men wanted more from her than just to be her friend or companion; as if she were another man; charmed by her empathy for male psychology (ie. polygamy), they fell in love  with her. this kind of mental transvestism - the ability to enter the spirit of the opposite sex, adapt to their way of thinking, mirror their tastes and attitudes - can be a key element in seduction.'

'most people are in some way attracted to people of their own sex, but social constraints repress those impulses and the Dandy represents a release from such constraints.'

'do not be misled by the surface disapproval your Dandy pose may elicit. society may publicise its distrust of androgyny but this conceals its fascination; what is most seductive is often what is most repressed. learn a playful dandyism and you will become the magnet for people's dark, unrealised yearnings'

'the key to such power is ambiguity. in a society where the roles everyone plays are obvious, the refusal to conform to any standard will excite interest. be both masculine and feminine, impudent (bold) and charming, subtle and outrageous. let other people worry about being socially acceptable, those types are a dime a dozen, and you are after a power greater than than they can imagine.'

i remembered that i repressed this part of me out of shame even tho it is who i naturally who i am and its bc i desperately tried to save face when i should've just moved on from their jealous criticisms and embraced it. 'the only thing to do in the face of resentment, some dandies try to fight the image they themselves have created, but this is unwise as dandies' charm is that they don't really care about what people think of them.'

the only thing i need to be careful about is my insolence, which means watching what i say. having a kind of analytical but liberal dialogue.

and finally; in the work world, tone down your dandy image: be pleasantly different, an amusement rather than a person who challenges the group's conventions and makes other feels insecure (my other really big mistake)