life updates for anyone who cares

MIL and SIL finally talked...

so what has been burning and been in the making for the past two years has finally happened, Alhamdulilah.

i was trying to do my assignment but honestly couldnt focus - every saturday, im starting to dislike conducting the tafseer class, bc i want it to happen in a certain way - with people having their cameras on, alert and listening and participating ofc and others just dont care. and idk if im being dishonest to myself bc i said i was gonna kick out people who didnt attend or werent interested - and like my "friend" M.G who honestly is very irritating and full of excuses didnt come 2 times already, and thats after i kicked her out and then asked her to attend. like i hate lazy people, i hate people who come with all of these excuses.

i hate it so much and its really testing me now, my other "friend" A.I , idk she was acting up last week when we all went to teh escape room, just being a total witch  and everything and i even asked her if everything's ok but she said ye everything's fien. and yet she was giving me attitude etc.. tbh i havent asked her in private so i should probably do that.

and my half-sister and what happened last week at the brunch with me and mama and her, is kinda still annoying mee... bc like why did that need to happen? why did she need to be so ungrateful and downright petty and disgraceful?

im so embarrassed to say shes my sister, i was about to spill the beans to J.A.. but honestly, i dont trust her yet and also shes told me stuff about S.A so i wouldnt tell her anything that im comfortable with her knowing if we dont get along eventually etc.

its all of these things and the fact that i was such a stress ball all of yesterday - i went tot eh gym and came back early bc i was so anxious about how the convo between J.A and MIL would go but Alhamdulilah it went well.

they talked, and J.A got very heated and emotional and abit aggressive - i believe this even tho i wasnt there bc my husband told me, so did my MIL and ive seen her get like that. so we might ahve another conversation about how she needs to fix herself in some respects- for eg. she doesnt invite us over bc shes always complaining about her house and her stove etc which i think are just an excuse. like you still cook for your husband so why is it a problem if you increase it a little bit for the rest of us?

idk man, my brain is literally getting fried and i feel like im emotionally numb rn. i hate my sister, esp bc of the way she just is. i hate talking to her and i hate being around her. i didnt realise how much until i had to pick her up yesterday from the train station and i felt myself just wanting to kick her out of my car but i didnt - and i kept my cool

moreover, im annoyed at baba for being so negative and weird all the time around my mama, and insinuating that she doesnt want to see my phoppo even tho shes sick. and obvs mama is quite biased and can exaggerate sometimes bc shes very sensitive. ik this bc ive talked to her and she always picks a negative meaning of it as well and ive always been confused as to why. rn im just so drained from all this and the last thing i want to do is my assignment. i just want to sleep, have some takis and watch some on my block and just laugh all of this away. so much happened this week, its physically hard to do anything and ye i didnt get anything done this week even tho i had a lot due. and im jsut sitting her worrying about all of these different relos and situations

im glad all of this has happened but im also very annoyed at alot of these things. specifically the tafseer class - like im sick of A.I and M.G not showing up and in our gcs just pretending like they wanna be a part of it and do it, and the thing is, where theres a will, theres a way. all of these silly excuses like "i have work" or "i have school" or "i have uni" or i have to study - like all of us have smth to do, if youve chosen to be a part of smth, with no force of your own, then i expect you to uphold that commitment and stop "pretending" you wanna do smth but you acc dont. both A.I and M.G do this, i pick on them both bc they act soooo enthusiastic and yet have nothing to offer and it was getting very irritating to me. i hate liars, i hate people who pretend to be smth theyre not, i try to tell them that this tafseer class is not just another to-do list that you can just tick off the whole point is to listen and understand.

and anyways i was worried about how all this would go down b/w my MIL and J.A esp bc i initiatied it and i wasnt even there. but one thing that irks me is that my husband wont tell me how it went down exactly.. and tbh i already know enough from J.A and my MIL but there are some inconsistencies that are getting to me for eg.

J.A said that she tried to push my name out of the convo and said stuff like "yout ell em what your problem is with me, dw about what ava said" while my MIL kept asking her what i told her etc

and then my MIL said the same thing "you tell me waht your problem is, we'll talk to ava when she's here etc"

and then J.A told me that she kept her cool but she clearly didnt. and she also told me that her husband M.A is the one who said smth like "youre trying to ruin ava and J.A's friendship" but my MIL told me J.A said it. so im a little bit confused on who to believe.

MIL is honest only to a degree and she pretends alot and so doews J.A. if i dont ask J.A directly, shes just like MIL