life updates for anyone who cares

knowing my place...

so ever since my MIL has been gone overseas, everyone's true colours are out, in specific my FIL's. i was worried about cooking for him bc mum told me how picky is, but it seems no amount of concern will make him eat at the house.. bc he will always end up going to his daughter's place, my SIL.

btw, shes pregnant again and her mood swings are back, but this time im not entertaining any wrongful attitude. if youre pissed say it with your chest, not your side remarks. anyways,

i gave up trying to impress my FIL, as i realised that he will always see me as an in-law, and if he can create that distance then so can i. im not gonna be more concerned with him, than necessary. my concern will go as far as is allowed by Allah, thats it..

i cant believe i really thought they needed me here... lol. im the idiot, tbh. but after realising this, im much happier at my parents' place and i hate coming back home to responsibilities. at first, i cant lie the thought of my FIL wanting to go and being very vocal about being at my SIL's house hurt me, but i now realise what a relief it is that he wants to stay there... less stress for me lol

like i only have to worry about my husband now im glad. and hes not so picky with food, sometimes he is, but he'll still finish it. but ye, my FIL makes sure he creates that distance with me but with his daughter's husband, A, he truly loves him like his own son. and that really bothers me. even tho biologically it shouldnt, but it does. like why the double standards?

he even did all his work for him for his RTO and gave my dad the short end of the stick, so f him for that. idc how old you are, how dare you disrespect me AND my dad in front my eyes ? have some shame.

anyways, i lost the little care i had for my FIL, bc i realised how truly heartless he is, i dont really feel sorry for him anymore, bc he doesnt care to show-off in my face how much he ahtes being at home bc im not hsia ctual daughter, so hes getting the same treatment. i hate making stuff for him, i hate listening to him talk. bc i realise how good he is at compartmentalising, and i dont like it one bit. i dont like that mum does it either, but my MIL genuinely does give me that daughter-status more than my FIL. but i realised what A was doing right all along... he refuses to call my FIL dad and my MIL mum... and he stays winning for that reason.

bc ik if i had stuck to that language from the beginning i wouldnt be facing this predicament rn. bc at the end of the day ava, you are NOT and never will be their daughter, so just stop trying and relax and be yourself. spend time with your actual parents, not your fake ones. you dont need to have this many emotions attached to your in-laws. and you need to learn to let go.