life updates for anyone who cares

jb's seasons and my relo

so... i folded and watched half of jb's seasons "documentary" and realised that alot of what hes like is what my husband is like. and hailey is like me, which is why i dont really like her.

ik that jb really loves hailey, but idk if hailey loves him back the same. just bc somebody is mature and helping someone else thru smth else (in his case, addiction and just being normal)does not mean there is love there

i realised alot of parallels between my relo and their relo and the fact that one of his friends said "theyre still together bc hailey has a lot of patience"... and ye.

then i went on and watched this movie called kabir singh and malang...

kabir singh i felt like that would be his state if smth ever happened between us to separate us (nauzubillah) and all these scenes, ive realised are not cringey to me anymore. bc ive experienced all of these things with my husband and looking at them holding each others face and kissing or whatever else, makes me grateful for what i have.

ive always wondered why im always so invested in jb's life, its not bc he is particularly interesting, or maybe he is and hes a psychological case breaking down/building up right in front of our eyes and when i see how he is with hailey saying that "hes a damn nightmare to be with, and hailey 'keeps on forgiving him'" to the point where he wrote a song about it... is very scary.

bc thats exactly what my husband thinks about me. he thinks ill just forgive him no matter what, but thats not true. and then saying things like "forgive me so that Allah can forgive you" and the way jb tried to make up with hailey by trying to be silly and then asking if she still upset... same thing happens to me.

in kabir singh, he screams at preeti and then instantly starts apologising after he sees her start crying is exactly what my husband does when hes mad and then immediately apologises. his rage is what separates them

idk exactly what i mean to do by showing these parallels, i guess i wont label it anything. its just observations from interesting movies.

malang is interesting, bc they overcome their fears together, and i feel like thats my husband and they are literally ride or die, and i feel like thats us.

tbh idk how toxic all this is...but it sure is fun.

my husband is a songwriter/rapper and into poetry and i want him to serenade me and it sure feels like its just me and my husband are alive when its just me and this is exactly what all these movies had in common. maybe im romanticising it and i recognise this bc obviously the attention will be on the main characters but i seriously feel like such a main character when its just us.