life updates for anyone who cares

an insightful dream

ive had this dream about three times now so i thought i might share it. its not the most pleasant dream ive had but it has gems that cant be taught but can only be experienced.

im in a big house  (like those nice mansion types but in america) and i remember seeing mama and being with this huge family that i dont recognise irl but they were my family in my dream. and we were having like a turkey dinner and i was in charge of the turkey. anyways, im getting the turkey out of the oven and placing it on the table when i see smth move in the backyard teenage retreat.

and the teenage retreat had desks and tables for some reason (i guess we were homeschooling some kids in the fam) and we had about three dogs and two cats (including  my one rn, who wasnt present in the previous two dreams). anyways, we were aware that there were jinns in the house so we tried not to let it bother us when we saw cupboards etc open/close but obvs it was still very scary. now, all the pets were in the teenage retreat and i saw them circle around this one desk which was opening and closing bc we know that cats/dogs can see jinn so i saw one of the dogs look up at the jinn as if to try to see them... but in the next scene, i cant see any pets, only blood. now idk if my brain blocked it out bc it knows how much i love animals but i did find that this dream brought my biggest fears to life.

i tried not to freak out during the family dinner bc except for me and a few others, no one believed in the jinns in the house and thought i was making it up. so i didnt say anything about the pets but i kept my turkey on the table and continued to lock all the doors in the house as if i thought that could keep them out. but then i started seeing people covered in masks and white (like the ku klux) and slowly surround the house from the back entrance. i think the scariest part of this experience is i felt like no one else saw this/cared enough to look and/or listen to me. so i just stayed quiet. and didnt want to cause a panic. and then the people disappeared around the back where the curtains were closed so i couldnt see them. it was like my object permanence coming to life. if i cant see them; everything's fine/theyre not there/nothings wrong... ygm?

but smth tweaked in me when someone opened the front door and was killed right then and there and i screamed and said "guys dont open any windows or doors etc, theres people outside trying to kill us" it was like everyone was "drunk"?  but not on alcohol. more on ignorance like ho they couldnt see what was happening right in front of their eyes. they all heard the noise of that fam member getting killed at the front door but they still made excuses like "oh theyre probably in the bathroom/oh no theyre just kidding" even tho there was visual evidence of the body and the blood. 

i feel like the deeper i go into this story the more my shadow is shining thru. for eg. me not speaking up even tho im very clearly in the right and am very smart and able-bodied etc. but i dont believe in myself. 

anyways after the first person died, other people started disappearing thru windows, for eg. one of the white wearing people smashed the window and dragged two people out of the house and killed them in cold blood. and this started happening at different parts of the house like when someone makes holes in a ship to make it sink. and then everyone started to believe me. 

for some reason, in my heart i felt like i was doing jihad just that the war was happening in a much more "fancy' place like the palace of a house ygm? but i knew they were targeting us bc we were muslim and also blessed and so i told the survivors to chant "la illaha illalahu muhammadur rasulullah" bc the killers were chanting smth too but everyone was so crippled with fear that words werent coming out of their mouths even when they tried.