life updates for anyone who cares

rishta #2 meeting

so the meeting happened and i met rishta #2 and one thing i can say confidently... is that he definitely does want to get married, his mom wasn't kidding.

in short, he didn't really let me talk... he was moreso qualifying himself than waiting for any questions. thats how i know he does want it. 

- first thing he said to me when he was introducing himself to me was that "finally ive been so excited to meet you (in front of mom) and i hope you guys enjoy yourselves) super sweet

- he's working full-time as a marketing manager

- he earns enough for both me and him (according to him)

- he wants to go to hajj for honeymoon, then turkey and then whatever locations his wife wants to go (he offered this info up)

- he wants his wife to work only part-time (this is favourable)

- he mentioned he wants to get married SOON like december 2020... (dad told him this is not just a simple decision, its a life decision)

- he kept mentioning my name (pretty sure he was trying to get into my head bc lets not forget hes a marketing manager, but i think he forgot that im a psych major)

- he told me he does martial arts and goes to gym bc he has to protect his wife who is his and his only and no one can look at her and she can't look at anyone (wallah i got kinda scared at this point)

- he insinuated his istikhara was pretty clear on whether to proceed or not (meaning yes, he wants to proceed and its just waiting for my istikhara)

- he said he didnt "want to speak for you [me] but my istikihara ..." and then just stopped talking. so thats how i know its pretty much a yes from their side. but i need my time. i was also very sick today so that doesnt help with clarity of mind.

- i still dont like his sister... and no its not her pregnancy. she really is that unlikeable. but i think she might be autistic so thats the benefit of  the doubt im giving her. tbh no matter how rude she is to me, i let it roll off me and i dont even feel salty (progress!!!) basically she was asking what i do in my spare time... and i said i "read philosophy" (if i had just simply said i read... it wouldve been a different reaction ig) but she said smth like "pls dont tell me you read philosophy in your spare time" and i was just like????? like do we have a problem here? like i dont understand.. i dont find hanging out with people multiple times a week entertaining and im not gonna pretend like its not draining also hanging out with people isnt something you call a "hobby"??? like im very confused bc that was her next suggestion.. like "dont you hang out with friends?" like you asked me what i do in my spare time.. im not so faaltoo that all i do is call up people and tell them "hey i have some time to kill, wanna hang out?"

- i told him about me having a podcast bc he was giving me !$1s gheerah vibes so i thought it would be important to mention, he said the podcast is fine (he was acting like a dad at this stage)

- i also told him i hope to open a youtube channel soon.. he interrupted me again and said " i dont want my wife to show her face to the world.. like a podcast is fine bc you can do what you want to and no one can see your face but youtube is just ... i dont like it" i see where hes coming from, so then i told him i wouldnt want to show my face either so i'd make videos with a niqab on even though i dont wear it irl... he thought about it and said "i still dont like youtube... we'll cross that bridge when it comes"

- overall he was quite wise and serious for a 22 yo  (he just turned 22 in 26 august) i dont know if there was any chemistry mostly bc he did all the talking and i became scared and i didnt even realise i was holding in my breath until i left the room we were in

- he said some cute things like "theres no heart and soul in business, the heart and soul goes to the wife" and points to me (i dont think he realised he did this) but that was super cute

-  he  mentioned he wanted his wife to be feminine and said he WANTED me to expect him to be manly (damn)

- he ain't ugly allahuma barek lahu (and anyways guys get an after-marriage glow)

- you know how usually when things are not confirmed, you say things like "i would want my wife to be ... etc" he kept saying "i'd want you to be"... and then say our names and put it next to his .. i think it was unconscious bc at times he did correct himself  and say "my wife" but most times it was my name or "you" (unfortunately i cannot remember for the life of me what exactly he said... but it was mostly stuff  about the future for eg he said "i want a small nikah and just to announce that this is my wife" and pointed to me so stuff like that)