life updates for anyone who cares

i am strong, i am capable

the past week has been very draining for me emotionally and mentally and Imaan-wise. im really struggling.

but today i made a small step which is i woke up at 9:30 compared to the 10:30-11:00 and i feel so good just from that little change. when you feel "powerless" its a lie told to you by your nafs so that we can continue to wallow in self-pity instead of realising that change is made in small steps. 

for example, imagine instead of waking up at 9:30, i tried to wake up at 8:30 (knowing it would be a mission to keep myself awake) but when i did "wake" up at 8:30, i would be full of dread of the day ahead bc its a big jump from 10:30 but 9:30 is a small step, small enough to make a difference and big enough to get me going

today, my plan is to finish section 2 of my diploma of relationship counselling, get a leg workout in along with a rope workout (which is going great btw) and i have to have a grooming session today where i shave my kitty and exfoliate my body etc and ofc smell nice. have to oil my hair and etc.

ive realised that nothing in life is acc hard, we love to make mountains out of molehills so we can feel more sophisticated and sound more prestigious and get more status than work done.

for eg. i want to read a book today and Surat al kahf bc today is friday and everything else that ive mentioned above iA.

the best and worst thing in life is that everything is neutral, and only we give life meaning. and the best thing is, we can change this meaning any time and any how that we like.

after this entry i want to get started and oil my hair soon.

okay wish me luck!!!!!