life updates for anyone who cares

staying off tiktok is so liberating.

seriously, im glad me and my husband decided to delete tiktok off my phone and never download it again bc when i tell you my confidence skyrocketed...Alhamdulilah

truly, social media is a disease, constantly indirectly comparing yourself to others for no other reason but that they are on the internet.. it can really have an impact on you.

and i wanna remove the notion that you are insecure if you feel like this on social media, bc its not true. social media is not smth "normal" to rely on, to spend most of your time on. none of this is normal. but we have normalised it bc that is all that we have as a "social life" but honestly, i wouldnt go back to it even if we agreed to. its been a month or so and im more confident in my body than ever, even with all the cute chubb etc. more than that, in the same way that confidence is infectious, so is insecurity. esp. when you are a muslim female who finds it hard to cover at times.

but aside from that, i feel so much happier in my relationship as well, bc constantly getting unsolicited relo advice from randoms calling everything "toxic" is not healthy. i trust my own feelings and i communicate instead of assuming that my husband thinks a certain way just because he is a male. its helped calm me down and made me much less hysterical, honestly, i was going crazy ngl.

but ye, i talked to my husband about telling his family to stop buying so many things bc honestly it becomes too much of a hassle to handle, and i broke down without meaning to. but im so glad i did, bc my sweet and handsome ass husband went to talk to his parents and told them that they are not allowed to do groceries anymore bc everytime they do, theres too much stuff to "stuff" in the fridge, and the cupboards, etc. anyways, alhamdulilah they understood, i instantly left the room when he started talking to them but im so glad that he did, bc i feel a bit more agency in the house. 

i have started to read the book 'atomic habits' and honestly its gotten me so inspired. little 1% changes can make you 37% better in one year. and im so excited to make these "little" changes that will add up exponentially iA. and one thing i wanna start doing is cooking for everyone atleast once a week on a day that is easy for me.... maybe sundays since we have a brunch then, and im more bothered to make stuff, that would honestly be good.

but i wanna learn how to cook, bc i cant logically expect somebody else (MIL) to cook healthy for me, i gotta do it myself, and also bc her food is not to my liking, the best thing to do is to do it yourself. other tasks, like vacuuming can be passed to other people, but cooking should be done on your own, and besides i want everyone to taste my cooking too. this is the only way to get good at smth. im thinking of making parathay and chicken tomorrow iA. 

i wanna make things healthier in this house and i feel that by choosing to buy our own groceries, we not only cut alot of the processed foods out, we also choose healthier options and limit food wastage by a lot. bc damn this house buys food just for it to go in the bin, and it honestly makes me cry.

so anyways, steps are being taken to become more assertive in this house, for eg. when me and my husband moved excess furniture... we still have a lot to do tho, for eg the garage and also some of the cupboards. 

anyways, i just wanted to ramble for a little bit bc ive missed talking to myself and missed being myself so much. and im so glad i get to share that. i will share exciting news for the business soon, once it is finalised. but i am feeling like me and my husband have got to read more regarding negotiation, since i feel we are not the best at it.