life updates for anyone who cares

update

so life's been a bit lopsided lately... not that its a surprise but i handled it pretty well.

so things were very awkward with W, as you would expect would happen, if one were to find themselves stuck in a love triangle... with their sister. and so the story goes.

anyway, my sister followed him from her finsta account to which he messaged me and said 'ik this is you or your sister, i just wanna know why' and i couldn't handle the second-hand embarrassment and had to reply so i said 'thats not me' and then he explained how he knew it was her bc her finsta was following her actual account blah blah...

and then two days later... i decided to clarify and said 'this situation is too cringey and embarrassing for me to deal with, even when im not doing anything...youre thinking im requesting you from some finsta? how cheap do you think i am? no ty, pls dont show up anymore, i dont want anymore things attached to my name."

and then he replied: "i said you or your sister, how obvious can it be, that ur sister was the only one following the account and as soon as i followed she unfollowed it" "its not me thats doing anything, its ur sister, she needs to get her shit together, shes being a little girl" "ive said nothing to you other than that."

and then i said: "im stuck in the middle and i have to deal with the consequences which are too embarrassing for me even tho i havent done anything. im just annoyed that you said 'you or your sister' when its clear its not me.

and then he said: "you need to sort your sister out. And you don't need to worry. There's nothing for you to worry about. You said it once that it wasn't you and I believed that but you can't change my mind from believing that it was your sister"

and then i left him on read.... bc honestly, i feel bad for the guy. my sister kind  of ruined this whole thing; embarrassing not only herself, but dragging me into it too. and ik that W isnt that special but boys talk... and this is not smth i want associated with my name at all.

anyway, i left him on read bc i had to remain loyal to my bloodline and not directly bait her out... and support him etc bc it just would look like  im sucking up to him uno? and then 5 hours later he asks "So that's it?" and i ignore again bc im still working on my abundance mindset and trying to convince myself that he really aint the last guy on earth so i aint need to worry - but that childish anxiety is always there.

but anyway enough about boring W... more onto my actual husband who is twice my size (or atleast big enough/aggressive enough for me to feel protected, to shield me from this cruel world and simp for me more than i simp for him bc honestly i lOVE simps...i love people being obsessed with me and im not turned off by it at all (if its coming from a place of self-respect, not need) but i want him to LOVE me more than life itself.

i want him to be an alpha, i want to be his luna and i want him to be big and aggressive (not scary, attractive) to balance out the simp. i want him to be down-to-earth, be a gentleman, have really good character (obviously pray 5 times), look REALLY good in a durag ;) and have a package bc i aint been a virgin for no reason (pls GOD), i want his family and my family to fit like two perfect puzzle pieces - i want him to respect baba and his rules, no micro-aggressive behaviour, no resentment, just extreme respect and love bc he raised me. i want his mum to love me to death so i dont feel like its a saas... i want our relo to be exactly like it is with every other aunty.

i want his family to be the same size as ours  or even bigger, but not annoying  instead it should be a  fun and loving and welcoming family. our family cultures should be the same or even better so that we can maybe learn smth from them. i just want another FAMILY uno? like i truly got so much love to give and im ready to give it to all my beloved