the MST3K gang riffs on bad stories i made when i was like nine

HGAT- Chapters 1&2

Today's riffers are...

Lexsi Marinn (L)

Mike Nelson (M)

Jonah Heston (J)

Emily Connor (E)

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11/10/2020

M- See that date? It's obvious already that this book is terrible.

The Series of the Horse Gallopers:

Book 2: Adventure Time

ALL- I love that show!

Chapter 1

J- Hey, Lex, she looks like you!

L- Oh my god.

E- You just need to get a nose ring.

"Hmm. I remember the day where you all wrote your names in the dirt with your hooves. But now, I kinda want you to write the names that Collosus gave you... huh."

J- Who's Colossus?

L- In the first book he was the main villain. He is terrible with names.

Wendy thought aloud. I-I can't believe that Wendy want's to call us such ridiculous names,

L- See?

Others- Ohhhh...

Luna thought. Wendy sensed that Luna was getting tense with her. "Oh, but if you want to be called Luna, that's fine. Just wondering what it would be like to call you Illusions.

M- Oh come on, that's her name?

E- It's plural, too! Come on, Colossus...

It is a cool name. Just - think about Luna." Wendy said passionately. "Ok, I'll think about it Wendy." Luna responded. Wendy had learned the horse language, so she could speak with them.

J- She sucks at conjugations, though.

The horses also understood Wendy. So now that a year had passed, they were great communicators. But, Luna wanted to go on a mission,

E- Wait, they're a team of superheroes or something?

L- Horse Gallopers!

E- Ohhh...

but couldn't find out how to tell the others now that it was all finally relaxed. "Well, IF I called you Illusions, MAYBE we would go on a mission."

M- I never knew changing your name was a requirement to fight crime.

J- Absolutely! Look at Clark Kent.

Wendy wisphered in Luna's ear. Luna's eyes widened. Her heart started pounding. What if she WAS being called Illusions? But, a mission WOULD BE AWESOME! But... I wanna be called Luna. I must ask the elders,

L- Is this a tribe? elders. God.

Luna thought. As she was walking through the safety of the forest, she heard a low growl, and saw pink eyes glowering at her.

E- (gasps) A unicorn!

J- Now who the hell is this guy?

"STARLIFT! I SEE YOU UP THERE! COME ON DOWN!" Luna shouted up at the trees. The low growl slowly turned into the familiar Starlift's laugh."GgggrrrrooooaaaahahahaHAHAHA!

L- HAHAHAHAHAHA!

J- HA HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

E- MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

M- Hee hee!

Ok, you caught me, foal." Starlift chuckled as she hopped down onto the ground. "Anyway, can you please walk with me to the elder horses Black Rose, my mom Autumn, Spirit, and Misty?

M- Thanks a lot for reminding us who's old now, LUNA.

Please?" asked Luna very politely. "Sure. Although you DID say please twice." Starlift chuckled.

E- (a la Starlift) "That's telling me you're desperate."

"I know because I wanted to be extra polite."

J- I dunno... It says "very" polite... Gotta work on that accent.

Luna said, jokingly, as she tipped her snout up in the air. It has been a few years since she was born. Now, she was getting food by herself.

L- Isn't it just grass?

And Wendy was her closest friend. "I KNOW!" Said Colt as Luna was speaking to him. "Really? You agree? That we should be called normal names?" Luna asked. "No, I thought about it. We shall have WARRIOR names!

E- (a la Colt) "I wasn't listening to ANYTHING you were saying."

You know, like on our missions as WARRIORS OF THE JUNGLE?" Colt asked. Then, a reddish foal appeared. "Oh, hi Sphinx." Said Luna. "Hey, Lumina finally found out what Colossus would name her!" Sphinx said. "Darkness!" Said Sphinx.

L- What do they have, an online quiz or something?

"DARKNESS?! THAT IS SO COOL!" Shouted Colt. "Well, I'M Illusions, Lumina's Darkness, Sphinx must be Lavabender and Colt is Blacksmith. The names SHOULD be our warriors of the jungle names!" Luna said smartly.

J- I don't think "said" and "smartly" work together.

"Yeah! That's good with me!" said Sphinx. "I really like the name Lavabender!" Sphinx added after a moment of silence.

E- I bet that was so awkward just sitting around.

"Well, if my friends like it, then I guess it's good with me too." Colt added. "And if you think about it, I HAVE to change my name to Skyfall." Marie said. "You know, I thought that I would NEVER get friends here, but you guys are the BEST FRIENDS!" Luna and Lumina said.

ALL- AT THE SAME TIME?!

"Being the-" "WARNING! IT'S HAWKEYE! HE HAS A WHOLE PACK! HORSE GALLOPERS! HELP!" Said the lookout, Autumn. "Even my MOM has a louder NEIGH." Said Luna, trying to get rid of the 10 second deafness.

M- That can happen?

"Agreed." Said Sphinx as they put on their gear. "Glisten, Misty, Black Rose, and Bolt, you guys have to stay here and guard the caves. Stormeye, Illusions, Lavabender, Blacksmith, Darkness, Skyfall, and Spirit, you crush them.

L- Motivation!

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