the MST3K gang riffs on bad stories i made when i was like nine

WC #1- Chapter 7

Emily Connor (E)

Lexsi Marinn (L)

Jonah Heston (J)

Gypsy (G)

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E- I suddenly sense a two-story high block of text.

L- What are you, an Oracle?

E- What?

L- (nervously laughing) Because you're right.

Chapter 7

Three moons later, Stripepaw went to the medicine cat's den. There was Blossomingpaw.

E- WOAH! Can we shorten it a little?

"Hi. Where is Flowerpelt?" Stripepaw asked. "Oh, she went out to go collect herbs. It is leaf-bare, you know." Blossomingpaw said, sorting some bud root, marigold, and violet seeds. "Oh. Well then. I suppose you know how to give Forbiddenpaw his medication for his blind eye."

L- Well, I personally think, in my personal opinion, that he should SUCK IT UP!

Stripepaw signaled Forbiddenpaw to come over. "Wow! My first patient! Forbiddenpaw needs some cobwebs, yes?" Blossomingpaw said. "No. I need some pollen." Forbiddenpaw said. Stripepaw kept the giggle in. Blossomingpaw put cobwebs on Forbiddenpaw's blind eye. Leopardjaw trotted into the room.

(Gypsy makes some horse hoof sounds)

"Stripepaw, Forbiddenpaw, you may be happy to know that your fighting lesson and hunting lesson will be spent with Darthwing, Trunkpaw, and Foxpaw. Meet me and Darthwing outside camp at dawn. Okay?" Asked Leopardjaw.

E- "Aw... Aw... Aw..." That's literally all I hear in this book.

Forbiddenpaw and Stripepaw both nodded in usion. Raveneye came into the Medicine cat's den, searching for Forbiddenpaw and Stripepaw. "THERE you are! Whitestar asked me to look for you! You both are attending tonight's gathering!" Raveneye said. Stripepaw and Forbiddenpaw looked at each other and smiled. "Thanks, Raveneye!" Said Forbiddenpaw. A few hours later, there they were, at their first gathering. Hollowclan, Breezeclan, Snakeclan, and Spikeclan all attended.

E- I would think a character like "scalekit" would be in SpikeClan. It just makes sense.

"Okay, all four clans! The gathering has started! We will go to Whitestar, for she has some news..." Said the Breezeclan leader, Songstar. Songstar was a calico she-cat with ice blue eyes. "Thank you, Songstar. For I have some news. My best warrior, Speckledfur, has become a traitor to the clan." Whitestar sighed.

L- (a la Whitestar) "Happens to the best of us."

All cats, except Hollowclan, gasped. "S-Speckledfur?! For what did he do?" Asked the Snakeclan deputy, Spashtail.

G- What's a Spash?

"He attacked Stripepaw, one of our apprentices. For I did not say this last gathering because it sounded too harsh. Speckledfur also was plotting to potentially kill Foxpaw. And so, we executed

ALL- Exiled.

him away from the clan. He is a rouge until further notice." Whitestar said. "It is true. I saw him." Raveneye explained. "Okay, I have something to say then. SPECKLEDFUR WAS STEALING OUR PREY ON OUR TERRITORY!"

E- (a la RedStar) "If he wasn't exiled, then it'd kinda be awkward, so-"

Said the Snakeclan leader, Redstar. "Ours too! Except Speckledfur had a whole pack of rogues." Said the Spikeclan leader, Nightstar. "I believe one of them was one of MY apprentices, his name is Spikedpaw!

E- Nevermind, that's the true SpikeClan warrior.

He is a brown, sandy colored tom. He betrayed us by attacking a kit!" Songstar said. "One of them is our old deputy, his name was Featherwhisker. He tried to attack ME! His leader!" Said Nightstar. "One of them must be OURS! Her name is Fluffpelt, she calls herself the leader of all rouges!

L- She might be exiled, but they sure do have time to chat!

She used to be one of our warriors!" Said Redstar. "Do you think they would make a clan of their OWN? We would be in grave danger! Think about what STARCLAN would think! Floods for days! Raining and pouring! An early leaf-bare! Not only if we fight them!" Lightpaw shouted at the four leaders.

G- Shush your mush!

"LIGHTPAW! Keep your mouth shut! You believe too greatly in Starclan!" Said Spottedfoot.

L- But... Isn't that what she's supposed to do?

"No, Spottedfoot. Lightpaw is right. Think about what Starclan would think of this!" Redstar said. "Right. How shall we communicate about this? Should we get top notch warriors to go to their borders to speak?" Asked Songstar. "Great thinking Songstar. Okay. We will get one of our warriors to report once a week at the borders. If any trouble or tough information,

L- What's "tough information"?

E- (toughly) "Urghhh! Prey's running well! Urghhh!"

they will contact us. Their leaders." Nightstar said. "Correct. Dismissed!" Whitestar hopped off of the Hollowclan rock. As they got back to camp, Whitestar announced, "ALL CATS OLD ENOUGH TO CLIMB THE TALLEST OF TREES COME TO THE HOLLOWED ROCK FOR A CLAN MEETING!"

(ALL ad-lib groans of annoyance)

All of the cats came to the hollowed rock. "The cat who will be reporting to the other messengers would be Starchploom. Clan dismissed!"

E- Startchploom. I just realized- what kind of name is that?

L- He sounds like a brand of an insignificant laundry detergent that I would've seen weird ads for when I was little.

Whitestar went into her den, and dozed off. Stripepaw and Forbiddenpaw went into their den, and curled up together, asleep.

L- Of COURSE they all love each other.

(Jonah starts coughing)

E- Woah! Dude, are you okay?

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