the MST3K gang riffs on bad stories i made when i was like nine

PAUSE!

(everyone is standing around, hands clasped as Crow prays for them)

Crow: Our Torgo, who art in banana heaven, broken legged be thy name...

Emily: Preach, Crow.

Jonah: Woo!

Crow: Please give us strength through these really crappy stories as we venture onto our 160-page masterpiece of poo-piles.

Mike: Yes, beautiful.

Crow: The author is ugly, and so is the writing.

Lexsi: Oh, we're going there, okay.

Crow: Like, the writing is horrible.

Joel: Okay, Crow.

Tom: Really bad.

Crow: And I don't even know if we'll make it through alive with how putrid-

Mike: Okay.

Crow: -ass-paining-

Jonah: Alright, Crow.

Crow:- horrible, good-for-nothing-

Emily: We get it.

Crow: -god-awful-

Lexsi: (snapping) WE GET IT! (coughs) we get it.

Crow: Please give us all the strength in the world to think of something funny every five seconds while we read these, amen.

Others: Amen!

(Gizmonics)

George: Not too fast!

(SOL)

(all groan)

(Gizmonics)

George: look what I found (holds up two books) Some really god-awful stories I forgot to show you guys!

(SOL)

Emily: Can we not?

(Gizmonics)

George: We got Tigal. Classic... Then the third Wings of Flame book!

(SOL)

(everyone ad libs their frustrations, "GOD NO", etc.)

(Gizmonics)

George: Have fun with these final two crap writings before you turn into mindless zombies forever!

(SOL)

BEEP! BEEP!

ALL:WE GOT STORY SIGN!

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