the MST3K gang riffs on bad stories i made when i was like nine

Tigal- Chapter 5-END

Tom Servo (T)

Jonah Heston (J)

Crow T. Robot (C)

Lexsi Marinn (L)

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J- Unbelievable. Terrible friend.

L- I had lime juice in my eye.

C- We don't wanna hear it.

CHAPTER 5

COSMOS STORY

¨People like YOU will like to be my mate. If you wish, HUMAN.¨ Said a normal tiger with white and sparkle blue eyes. ¨Oh please, Blitz, come on.¨ Said a normal human man with a shining flower on his shoulder.

ALL- (shocked) WHAT THE-?

¨You guys mating? You can't mate a human, Blitz!¨

J- Oh my god. First it was racist. Then it was zoophilic. Beautiful.

Shouted a jaguar with a white coat and purple spots. ¨Yeah, RIGHT, like you didn't mate a human last week, STARGAZER!!¨ Blitz rolled her eyes.

T- WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FU-

Others- LANGUAGE!

¨Ok, you got me, you can mate.¨ Said Stargazer. ¨Last YEAR Clover mated with a human and she gave birth to a, what do you call it? Cheetah human? It was a boy. She named it Cosmo.¨ Said Blitz. ¨Oh! And do you know Eclipse?

T- Of course we do, please don't remind us.

The stray dog? She married a human named Arctic. She said that she is giving birth to twins! Both girls. And you may know that one of them is a wolf human.¨ Said Blitz. ¨Ok, I pronounce you mate.¨

L- That human right there must be so high right now.

J- Wait a second... I have a theory.

L- A game theory?

J- Shhh...

Said a dragon up above that had bright green scales and was holding a human that had purple hair dye. ¨Hi Amethyst.¨ Sighed Stargazer. After that, Amethyst mated up with the human and gave birth to a dragon human with white dragon wings and tail and horns.

C- "WHEN IN ROME" MY ASS, BOOK!

After that, they gave birth to twins, called Dark and Midnight. Then, Blitz and her human give birth to Tigal. And Stargazer gave birth to Jasmine. And Eclipse gave birth to a wolf named Luna, and another human wolf that was sent away. But the cats all came from one tribe.

J- What if this entire thing is an elaborate hallucination by that human who's attracted to tigers.

L- What?

J- Think about it.

CHAPTER 6

SHADOW'S WOLF CAVE

PRESENT

"Big whoop! Like I CARE about a spaceship up above!"

C- We skipped a couple of lines.

Shadow began as her actual wolf subjects explained a circling ship above their galaxy-colored cave. "With Dark, Gigi, Gilbert, Midnight, AND Pearl's orbs, we only need to find the cat's orbs!" She continued. "STAR! COME BACK! DON'T DO THAT!" Shouted a faint voice from the outside of Shadow's cave. "Star? Ooooh, came to your senses? Good, you are the power I need." Shadow said as Star appeared from a distance. "Lavender, let her meet her lead guard." Shadow ordered as a huge werewolf appeared. Alpha.

C- Alpha's a werewolf?

J- I don't think I can recall.

With Solar horrified behind. And looking around, Star saw a magnificent sight, or a bad one: There was a robot with wheels and a silver material she was made of. She had a good black stroke on her hair. "Behind you, WOLVERINE!" Shouted the robot as Shadow looked behind and Star was carried and shot to a spaceship. "Well, SHE'S gone."

ALL- And may she be gone forever!

L- Amen!

Cosmo whispered. Jasmine was talking to Shadow an hour later. "Ok, try." Shadow said. "Jasmine, what? What was that?" Asked Tigal. "I asked her to do a rap battle," Said Jasmine.

T- ... Oh!

C- That's a... Strategy.

"Oh, no. PLEASE don't." Cosmo said, thinking back when Jasmine did a rap battle with him and it ended up to be a BATTLE battle. "No rap battle, Shadow. Just kidding." Jasmine said. "Huh. I suspected that. A jaguar like you will never know what Rose assigned Tigal and the others." Shadow smirked. "I ALMOST FORGOT!"

ALL- SO DID WE!

Tigal shouted. "Do you have the ingredients?" "Jasmine, we have the sun ray from Lavender-" "HOW- HOW DID YOU DO THAT?! I DIDN'T GIVE IT TO YOU!" Lavender shouted. "Yeah? Then how do YOU explain that I managed to give a signal to Cosmo and HE took it?"

C- You did. You literally explained it right there.

Tigal asked. "Tigal..." Sighed Cosmo. "WINK WINK." Tigal said sarcastically. "HA! What do ya say about this?" Shadow showed them that she had practically STOLEN all of the ingredients.

J- Ah. Plot devices.

Now all she needed was the sun ray. "I'll take that!" Said Shadow, snatching the sun ray. "I CALL UPON THEE, STAR CREATURES!" Shouted Shadow. Just then, the stars formally twinkling in the midnight sky were as hot as the sun. They shook like meteors as they shot down to the Earth. Out stepped one-eyed-dogs. Their fur was a midnight purple. And their ears were replaced with antennae.

ALL- Oh!

"Awwww." Cooed Jasmine. Just then, Shadow stopped. Her orb fell off into Jasmine's hands. She was a black statue.

ALL- Oh...?

As Cosmo put Shadow and her orb into place, he looked behind Shadow's pack of wolves. There stood Gigi, Midnight, Gismo, Pearl, Dark, as happy as can be. The wolf pack stood still in their statue forms. But Solar was in there too, with Alpha and Lavender.

L- I'd just like to point out that Alpha did nothing.

"Good riddance..." Tigal said to the oh so still Shadow. Just then, there was a thing that looked like a yu-gi-oh card.

J- Oh, now I'm interested.

With a clap of a hand, the card released a note. The note said, Be prepared . Uh oh.

1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6...

The end