the MST3K gang riffs on bad stories i made when i was like nine

Wolf Tails #1- Chapter 4-5

Joel Robinson (R)

Jonah Heston (H)

Lexsi Marinn (L)

Crow T. Robot (C)

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Chapter 4: Rumors

"A-Aspen... I can't sleeeeeeep." whined Baxter, who was born a few weeks ago. They were three weeks apart, so Aspen was fifteen weeks old, and Baxter was twelve weeks old.

C- Wow. Barely out of the womb and already making complaints.

"Why?" mumbled Aspen, who wanted to just GO TO SLEEP. Baxter had padded over to her and nudged her until she awoke.

"I heard rumors from Evo that there is a rival pack. Now I'm scared sissy..." Baxter trembled. Aspen shot up. A rival pack? Rumors? GOSSIP? TO HER BROTHER? NOT ON HER WATCH.

"Sleep with me, I'll look out until morning, don't worry."

Once it was morning, Aspen woke Baxter and rushed to where their mother and father were. "MOM. DADDY. WAKE UP IT'S URGENT." "Did you need to have breakfast? Wait for the huuuuuunters." snored their father, Skoll. "NO no. It's FAR more important than THAT. Although breakfast is important." Baxter mumbled under his breath. "Mmmph what?" asked a tired Sierra. "Rumors,"

L- (a la Fiddler on the Roof) "Remember Perchick? That crazy student?"

Aspen started to explain what Baxter had told her last night, "about a rival wolf pack. Name is Shadowpath Pack, known to kill anything that gets in their way. Male Alpha is Scratchpath and the female Alpha is Nightclaw. Something called betas - second in command from what I've heard - are the male Sharpclaw and the female Gazingstripe. They live like a normal pack, but are so violent and -" "Ok sis, I think that's all. I'm more scared now."

H- This is a surprisingly useful way to explain the plot.

Baxter said, his eyes darting across the cave. "Where did you hear these rumors, puppers?" asked Dakota, Aspen and Baxter's uncle. "Bro!" exclaimed Sierra. "Haha! Sis!" cried Dakota.

L- What is it with me and just... Needing to clarify sibling relationships?

They did some nuzzling and licking as a greeting, and Sierra asked, "What're you doing here?" "Oh, thought I'd stop by to say hi to the pups. But then I heard Aspen," he thrust his head in Aspen's direction and continued, "talking about rumors about some rival pack! I mean, we might be descendants from the Wolves of the Stars," now he pointed his nose up, gesturing towards the sky, then focused his attention to the room and continued again, "but that doesn't mean we have to be a target. But what it does mean is that we are the first true pack, which means how are we supposed to know if there are other wolves out there? We need to assign more patrols now and -"

C- This reminds me of a flat earther gaslighting himself into believing the earth is flat.

"Dakota, can we talk... privately" asked Sierra calmly, slightly growling at the last part. "O-o-o-ok." stuttered Dakota, surprised by the interference. "Daddy is still sleeping. Let's go!" whispered Aspen. "Uh, ok!" Baxter whispered back. As they creeped up to Sierra and Dakota, they heard Dakota saying, "We need to tell Apollo and Alaska! This could be serious. If there are other wolves out there, then we need to start training for battle! We thought humans were bad, but wolves could be..."

H- Wait a sec, when did they hear about the second pack?

L- Nonwritten canon event.

H- Oh, yeah, that makes sense.

Dakota shuddered before Sierra started replying. "I agree brother. We must tell Apollo." "C'mon, let's go then!" They started to bound out of the clearing they were in, and they almost trampled Aspen and Baxter, but they ran back to their father and sat up straight before Sierra and Dakota found that they were eavesdropping. "Talking to the alphas, huh?" Aspen asked suspiciously. "We are going to go. You must come with us too. If your father is sleeping, there is technically nobody watching you. Come children."

R- This is so confusing to read.

Chapter 5: Rivals

"WOLVES OF THE HOT AND COLD PACK, PLEASE GATHER AROUND THE FIRST ROCK FOR A GATHERING!"

C- As someone born in the metals of time, that is NOT THE FIRST ROCK.

Apollo howled as he jumped on The First Rock. One by one, wolves from all over their territory came to see what their alpha had for them. To the pack's surprise, Dakota and Sierra were up on The First Rock as well. "We have an announcement to make!" called Dakota. "There are rumors spreading in our pack that there is a rival pack here."

L- This is gonna play out like that burn book scene in Mean Girls.

said Sierra before hanging her head solemnly. "But where, exactly?" growled Zelda, confused and worried. His pups came up beside him asking him what was going on. His only answer was "I don't know." "We've gotten word from the warriors that they saw black, white and silver flashes through the forest, and some deer that fell instantly with a swipe of a very blurry clawswipe."

R- I think you're describing footage shot with a ghost filter.

"Yes, we have seen on patrol deer falling in a blink of an eye, and then, it's dragged away instantly. I believe that is why finding food is harder than it normally is." Sabre spoke up.

L- And that needed a new chapter.