the MST3K gang riffs on bad stories i made when i was like nine

Tigal- Host Segment

(Lexsi, Crow, and Tom are cutting some vegetables)

Crow: It says on the instructions... "Cut into thin slices."

Lexsi: Got it.

Crow: "On the limes, cut them in half"

Lexsi: What?

(she messes up on the lime she's cutting and some juice gets into her eye)

Lexsi: OW!

Tom: OH MY GOD! ARE YOU OKAY?

Lexsi: No, I got some juice in my eye, hold on.

(Jonah enters)

Jonah: Lexsi! Just who I was looking for. I'm conducting a survey on self-evaluation because I'm trying to improve myself, and, I was just gonna ask: "Do you feel that Jonah Heston is a good friend", yes or no?

(Lexsi, still recovering, groans)

Lexsi: Yes, yes, Jonah, you're a great friend, and I mean that.

(she winks in her juiced eye)

(Jonah is offended)

Jonah: Are you kidding me?! I've been the best I could be and THIS is how you're treating me?

Lexsi: What? I didn't do anything!

(she is still winking)

Crow: What, Jonah?

Jonah: SHE WINKED! THAT MEANS SHE'S LYING!

Tom: What? (notices her winking) OH GREAT HEAVENS!

Jonah: It's... It's like I don't even know you anymore...

Lexsi: Oh my god, you guys, I think you've been reading too much of my stuff today...

Crow: Are you even Lexsi Martin?

(Lexsi winks)

Lexsi: DUH!

Others: (ad lib. SHE WINKED, SHE WINKED, LIAR, ETC)

BEEP! BEEP!

ALL: AND WE HAVE STORY SIGN?

6... 5.. 4... 3... 2...1...