Married, on paper.

5. Answers and bad ideas

I change into some sweatpants and grab some more laundry putting it all in the washing machine to erase the evidence of what i just did... How would i explain that... Oh dont worry honey i just jerked of to my wife... Yeah, surprise i am already married... Nobody knows and how it never leaked is beyond me... Maybe that is the strangest part of all this.

I sigh and walk to the kitchen and order food. Genevieve's favorite... Sushi... I sit down at the table and put my head in my hands... I had gotten over this... But getting the news that we are still married brought everything back... 

I dont know how long i have been sitting like this when the doorbell rang letting me know the food was here... I go to get my delivery and put it on the counter before letting Genevieve know the food is here... She is talking a mile a minute while we eat... I dont say a word as she is just babbling about wedding stuff... I pretend to listen while all i can think about is Mya... I couldn't care less anymore... Not until everything has been solved... Yes, that is what i need. Closure... I need to get this annulment or divorce so i can move on...

Genevieve is the better match... Yes, she might be a bit shallow, but she is easy... I know how to deal with her... To make her happy. She wants what i wants a family... She loves kids... Mya wasn't even sure if she wanted a family... So, what if Genevieve has expensive taste... I can afford that... I can give her the life she wants and maybe even demands... 

After dinner we look through more wedding stuff. I try to pay attention, but my minds keep drifting off to Mya... Where would she be... Did she move on...? One thing i know for sure she did not get married because she would get the same messages i got... I dont know why but i liked the fact she never has gotten married... God i am terrible... I am happy she never got married... Would she still be thinking of me?

I have to push it out of my mind as Genevieve asks what is wrong with me because i dont answer... "I am just tired sweetie..." I say kissing her cheek... "I think i am going to bed early..." I mumble and she looks annoyed again... "Love you..." I quickly mumble kissing her cheek again before walking off to the bedroom.

My mind is racing... Is it cheating if you dont know you are married? Why do i feel so guilty... Do i feel guilty to Genevieve or do i feel guilt to Mya...

As i lay in bed my mind is still racing. More memories of Amy are flooding my mind... I hear the bedroom door and close my eyes pretending to be asleep. I dont want to talk... I am so confused. I dont want to cuddle or talk to Genevieve... I am so confused. I can hear her rummaging around... She is doing her nightly routine... She is not being quiet as she is angry with me... Her passive aggressiveness is annoying but i stay quiet... I am not going to react and start an argument. I am not in the right mindset...

The next day after Genevieve has left for brunch with her girlfriends, i call my lawyer again. I had told him to not call me but that i would call him and i hope and pray he has answers for me...

"Chris you never signed the paperwork... That is why it never go processed. After that it got lost in the system... It got lost as normally they would contact you or us... I am sorry it got overlooked..." He says and the blood drains from my face... I never signed... How did that happen... How can it be that i did not sign... I feel numb... But i get snapped out of my thoughts by the lawyer... "I am sorry, but you can't get an annulment anymore... You have to get a divorce..." He says and i groan, knowing that it got a lot more complicated...

"But i do have some good news... We found her... It was not that hard... She works in the medical field, so she had to register... So, we will send someone over to her to sign the papers... Do you think she will make demands... Do you think she is going to want alimony or something?" He asks and my heart starts racing... He got my full attention now... He knows where she is... They found her. My heart is racing as i feel a rush of excitement... "No... Knowing Mya, she won't... She not that type of person..." I mumble trying to keep myself together... "People can change... It has been 9 years..." My lawyer says and i sigh... Then an idea pops in my head... I know it is a bad idea... It is a really bad idea... I know i should not do this... But everything in me screams i have to do this... To get closure...

"You said you know where she is...?" I ask and the line goes quiet for a second... "Yes... I am going to send one of my interns over there right now..." He says... "NO!" I practically yell. "No... Just send me her addressee... Knowing her it will be better if i do this personally..." I say lying through my teeth and the line goes quiet again... "Chris... Are you sure... I mean dont you have better things to do you are getting married soon. Dont you need to be home and plan a wedding... We can have it dealt with quick and quiet..." He says and i sigh. I know he is right... I really do, but the urge to see Mya takes over. "I am sure... Text me the addressee..." I say and i can hear my lawyer sigh... "Chris i dont know if that is a good idea..." He says again and i get angry... "Just text me the fucking addressee..." I growl and hang up...

I start to pace up and down my office. Am i doing this? My phone pings and i take a deep breath... There it is... The addressee... I smile seeing it... She did it... I suddenly remember that she always talked about Yellowstone... It was her dream to live there. I take a deep breath... She actually did it... She moved there... To West Yellowstone...

I sit down and look up flights... About half an hour later i have booked a flight and a room leaving tonight... I smile nervously as the adrenaline is pumping through my veins. This is probably a bad idea but the urge to see her is to strong... I have to do this... But what am i going to tell Genevieve... I sigh...

How am i going to justify this... My phone dings and as if Genevieve feels something is up a picture appears... Great she is shopping again... "Blue or green...?" The text says and i sigh... Right then and there i decide she would not care. As long as i come back and marry her... "Green..." I text back... I groan as she texts me back that she thinks blue suits her better... Why she keeps asking me is beyond me...

"I have to go on a business trip for a few days... I am leaving in a few hours. Sorry it came up last minute..." I text her and immediately my phone rings... As i answer she starts wining...I roll my eyes and i do the only thing i can think of to keep calm her down... "Sweetie, why dont you take the girls to the spa... Pamper yourself and buy both dresses... They both look good on you..." It seems to work, and she immediately changes her tone and wishes me a good flight and to call when i land... See easy...

I go to the bedroom and pack some stuff... I check the weather up there and pack accordingly... Then i call Scott for a ride to the airport... I am going to see her... Yes, to ask for a divorce but i will finally have some closure... Maybe we can even talk about everything...