Married, on paper.

30. Good morning.

I hear giggling and feel something move... I slowly open my eyes and i see Mya and Oliver giggling talking in sign language... I study them and i think i can make out... "He looks funny sleeping..." Mya has already seen i am awake and winks at me... Oliver is still caught up in giggling and talking with his hands that he hadn't noticed that i had woken up... I dont want to scare him so i move a little and he freezes looking at me and i grin... 

"I look funny huh..." I sign at him, as best as i can and he turns bright red and buries his head in Mya... She laughs and i chuckle... He peeks at me and when i just smile at him he turns around facing me... I look as he signs... "Goodmorning..." I smile and sign "Goodmorning." Back at him... He seems to like that i can sign and although i am still struggling only having had lessons for a few weeks the smile on his face makes it so worth it... 

He turns to Mya again signs something really fast and Mya nods. Oliver kisses her cheek, gives me a hug once again catching me by surprise before he jumps off the bed and runs out the room leaving me and Mya alone... We are both laying on our sides looking at each other, the safety of Oliver between us gone... "Where is he going?" I ask and Mya smiles... "To watch videos on his iPad in his own bed..." She says and i smile... "I told him to go and do that after you woke up... I thought we maybe could have a talk about what happened last night..." She whispers and my face turns bright red as my heart starts racing thinking about the dream i had. I told her i had a nightmare... I lied the dream was amazing... But i could never tell her that... Yes, she was getting closer to me but nothing physical happened other than some snuggling... 

"Okay..." I say a little hesitant as i am scared that she had figured out what had happened... "Want to tell me about this dream that had you so spooked?" She whispers and my eyes grow wide and i turn bright red shaking my head. "I.. I dont remember..." I stutter and she looks at me raising an eyebrow...

She puts her hand on my face and i close my eyes putting my own hand over it... "Chris please talk to me... You looked so scared and panicked..." Mya whispers and i sigh opening my eyes staring back into her worried green orbs that are piercing my soul... "It was nothing scary... Just after my dream it all felt so surreal that you and Oliver were here so i just wanted to check to make sure..." I whisper and she smiles... "We are here... Your son is here..." She whispers and i close my eyes again at the word son... 

I feel her scoot and cuddle into me my breath hitching in my throat as i hope and pray that she doesn't notice i am already hard again... "I forgot how warm you are in the mornings..." She whispers and i hesitantly wrap my arms around her pulling her even closer. The urge to do so taking over... But as soon as we are the least bit comfortable...

"Mooooooom i can't find my charger!!!" We hear Oliver yell from the other room and we both groan as we just had gotten comfortable... Well Mya was... I was trying my absolute best to get control of my body...But her groan caught me by surprise as Mya seems to not want to move... "Give me a second... Please dont go..." Mya whispers and i blush and nod... "Not going anywhere..." I whisper back and she smiles... She gets off of bed and walks out and i let out a big sigh readjusting myself in my sweats... Fuck she must have noticed... Or maybe she just doesn't care... But it feels like it is getting worse with every touch my body reacts in an instance... 

5 minutes later Mya walks back in and only then i notice she is only wearing a shirt... Her beautiful legs sticking out making my dick twitch... She crawls on the bed and settles in my arms again letting out a little hum... "He will be preoccupied for a little while..." She hums and lets out a deep breath... 

But as soon as she had said it Oliver sounds through the house again... "Mooooom it is not working...!" He yells and Mya groans resting her forehead against my chest and i can't help but chuckle... "You were saying?" I whisper and she sighs... "I can go..." I say and want to move and Mya giggles... "Yeah... I dont think that is a good idea..." She whispers and i am confused but as i follow her eyes down i turn bright red... She giggles and pushes herself off the bed again... 

Well, that answered one question... She had noticed... Maybe she really did not care... It is the morning after all... Maybe she thinks it is just a natural morning wood thing... Fuck what am i going to say... Am i going to go for the morning wood thing or go for the that is the effect you have on me thing... I groan and roll on my back slapping my hand on my face. I am fucking 42 and my body is fucking acting like a 16-year-old... I can't think straight when it comes to Mya...

When she comes back in, she smiles... "I swear this kid has the same technical skills as you..." She mumbles and i raise an eyebrow before she lets out a snort and jumps back in bed... I blush and clear my throat... "Mya about..." I say swallowing hard not even being able to finish the sentence and she just smiles... "About?" She says that mischievous smirk on her face again... I groan and pull her laying down and close, holding her in my arms... "Never mind..." I mumble a little annoyed and embarrassed and Mya sighs... "Chris i get it... Dont think you dont have an effect on me... Fuck... If i had a dick i would be hard all the time to..." She says and we both laugh... But then her face turns serious...

"Chris... I am still so confused..." She whispers and i sigh feeling my hope being squashed but i say nothing as i let her talk... "It scares me how easy it all is... How easy it is to fall back in old habits... Old comfortable habits... We have not been here even 24 hours and i am already dreading the day we have to go home... I just feel so overwhelmed as my heart and mind are constantly at odds with each other. They are in a constant battle for dominance... Seeing how you are with Oliver fills me with joy, love but above all guilt and i am so tired... It is so tiring to constantly be in this turmoil between giving in and wanting to keep my sanity and not move to fast. You have no idea how much effort it took to not follow you to your bedroom last night and crawl into bed with you... But... But... We dont have only us to think about anymore... Oliver is a factor to and he...  " She whispers her voice shaky and i kiss her forehead... "He can be a victim of our stupid mistakes more then he already has been..." She says and starts to sob... 

"Shhh... Shhhh... It is okay... Please dont cry, baby... Please i can't stand to hear you cry..." I whisper tears forming in my eyes, but it is only making her cry harder and i pull her as close as possible... "Make it stop Chris... Please make my brain stop, please give me some clarity...." She whispers in a pleading tone the look in her tear-filled eyes one of desperation and it breaks my heart to see her so sad so confused and tired... I dont know what to do... So, i do the only thing i can think off that i know will make her stop crying and hopefully quiet her mind... I press my lips on hers...