Married, on paper.

13. Married!?

There is nothing but silence in the air as i just had dropped the, we are still married bomb... She just stares at me blinking a few times as if she is in disbelief... A blank expression on her face... Or maybe i actually broke her beyond repair this time... The silence is heavy and i feel myself starting to breath heavy... I can hear my heart beating rapidly as there is nothing but silence for what seems like hours but in all fairness probably are just seconds... We just stare at each other... The words, we are still married as a barrier between us ... She just stares at me and i am getting more anxious by the second. I try to read her, desperate to know what she is thinking. But for the first time i can't... But then again how many times does one find themselves in this situation. Still i had a whole different reaction when i found out... Where i panicked and spiraled got confused by all sorts of feeling and emotions she just stares at me with this blank expression on her face...

I had expected all sort reactions... Anger, sadness and more anger... But not silence... I had expected anything but silence... "Mya?" I whisper breaking the silence desperate for any sort of reaction... She snaps out of her stare and looks at me with now a little confusion on her face... "No... No... No, no, no, no, we are not... I send you the...." She starts to say but then her eyes grow wide as it sinks in... Her face goes from blank to shocked as it sinks in. "Omg! You did not turn in the annulment papers?!" She screeches shoving me and i stumble back... "I did... But uhm something went wrong and well... Surprise... You are still my wife..." I mumble a little awkward as i try to break the tension with a joke... Then another reaction i had not expected... 

She starts to laugh... A giggle at first... The giggle turns louder, and it turns into full out laughing... She is doubling over and laughing and when she stands up straight again, she wipes away the tears running down her cheek... "We are still married..." She says as she calms down but as soon as she looks at me again, she burst out laughing again. She can't seem to stop tears streaming down her face from laughing... I just look so confused and shocked... Okay she is laughing... Is that a good sign... I know it is probably a nervous laugh or maybe because of how ridiculous this situation is but she is laughing... I missed that laugh even if she is laughing at me right now... 

But all of a sudden, her eyes fall on the folder still in my hand and she immediately stops laughing... "Omg... You were not here for me... Let alone Oliver... You had no idea..." She says and i turn bright red... She snatches the folder out of my hands before i can even comprehend what is happening or can even protest... She opens the folder and looks at the papers reading them over... Our divorce papers... "Divorce papers..." She mumbles taking in a deep breath... "You are here to get a divorce so you can get married again..." She mumbles taking a deep breath her chest heaving up and down and the word divorce cuts deep...

She looks up at me and smiles, a smile that i normally would kill for but now it is just another slap in the face... It is the smile of a woman who just resigned in the situation a woman who finds the sweet release of closure... "Got a pen?" She asks and it feels like being stabbed in the chest... She is going to sign them and reality hits at how much i dont want her to... But before i can even say something she sighs... 

"Wait here..." She says shoving the folder back in my hands and disappearing in the house leaving me standing there... She comes back only a second later with a pen in hand clicking it... I am just frozen on the spot looking at everything unfold in front of me... Her not putting up a fight. Not yelling at me for fucking up the annulment. It hurts more than any screaming match ever could... It is like i am not in my own body anymore as i watch her... It is like the air is thick and time has slowed down... It is like everything is going in slow motion as she takes the folder back out of my hands and opens it again... She reads it over... before walking over to the little table on the porch and puts the papers down...

She goes in for the kill... She goes in for the kill with a soft smile on her face... She flips through the pages and with every initial to confirm she had read the page she stabs the knife deeper in my chest all with that soft smile on her face... But as my mind is screaming to stop her my body is just frozen and all i can do is watch... Then the last page comes up... Without hesitation... Without any doubt she signs on the dotted line. 

She closes the folder and hands it back to me... I pause for a second before i finally can move and take the folder from her... "Your free..." She says smiling... My mind is screaming... I dont want to be free i dont want to be free from her... She looks at me raising an eyebrow and that cheeky smile appears on her face... "Dont screw it up this time, yeah..." She says letting out a chuckle... She has just killed me with a smile on her face as if she has no idea that she just has... "You have my address sent me a copy after you filed... Just so i know this time it took..." She says and i feel like i can't breathe... 

But then she does something that catches me of guard and is totally unexpected... She steps closer to me. Stands on her toes lays her hand on my chest setting it on fire... She kisses me... A short, small kiss more a peck really... I close my eyes reveling in her touch, but the kiss is over way to quick... "Goodbye Chris... Congratulations on your engagement... I really hope you two will be happy..." She whispers and turns around walks in the house closing the door behind her... 

I just stand there looking at the closed door as i feel my lips with my fingers. Her kiss still burning on my lips... I open the folder and there it is... Her signature screaming back at me jumping of the page... She has signed... She signed without hesitation or any form of protest... All i have to do is file the papers and then we will be officially divorced... I look at the door, hoping it will open again but i know that this time it will stay closed... I am just numb... She has signed, it is over... Whatever dream i had is over... I feel a panic attack coming up and i know i have to get out of here... So, i just turn around and stumble down the stairs as it feels like my legs are not my own... My mind is screaming to go back and knock on the door to kiss her and never leave... But my body doesn't listen and takes me back to my car... It is over... over... over...