Married, on paper.

73. Sometimes we do things because we see no way out

I wake up due to Mya trashing around... I sit up and watch her... "No... No please..." She says her face in agony. She is asleep... "Mya... Baby... Wake up." I say shaking her a little and she gasps sitting up immediately... She is breathing heavy and looks at me confused and dazed..."It was just a nightmare baby..." I whisper as her breathing steady's... "Want to talk about it?" I ask but she shakes her head and cuddles into me as we lay down again...

I hold her tight as she softly sobs... This situation is bringing back memories. It is like the time her dad showed up at the door here wanting money... For weeks after that, she had nightmares... She had been in therapy for it all but when triggered it would all come back... I once went with her to a session and the therapist explained that this would probably always be the case... I just wished i could take all the bad memories away... 

She crawls on top of me and i smile... I wrap my arms around her as she buries her face in my neck letting out a small sigh her body relaxing in my arms... "I got you, baby... I got you... You are safe..." I whisper rubbing her back until she is asleep again... 

I know she was going to help Stacy and Kevin... She was going to do everything she could to make sure they were safe... I just hoped it would not break her... I tell myself to make sure she would not. 

When i wake up in the morning Mya is no longer in bed. I get up and put on a shirt... I find Mya smiling and giggling with the boys in the kitchen. "Good morning..." I say and they smile at me. "Did you sleep okay?" I ask the boys and they both nod... "Mya is making pancakes..." Kevin says all excited and i chuckle... "Aren't you in luck... Mya makes the best pancakes..." I say and ruffle his hair... Oliver nods and i smile ruffling his hair to... I walk over to Mya and wrap my arm around her laying my hand on her hip and kiss her cheek... She smiles as she flips one of the pancakes and i see Kevin watch us... He looks at us as if we are doing something so foreign. 

"Is she still asleep?" I ask and Mya nods... "Yeah i checked on her earlier... Still out like a light..." She mumbles... "Can you get the boys some milk and pour me a cup of coffee?" Mya asks and i smile and nod... I pour the boys some milk and pour us some coffee... "So, what do you boys think about spending the day with grandma?" I say and where Oliver is all excited Kevin looks confused and a little sad... "It is going to be fun..." Oliver says and smile... "Grandma will play boardgames with us...." Oliver says all excited and this seems to put a bit of a fire into Kevin. 

I chuckle and Mya puts plates in front of the boys... "Kevin you dont have to rush eating, okay?" She says to Kevin, and he smiles and nods... There is such a different between Oliver and Kevin... You dont want to blame Stacy she did the best she could giving the circumstances. But still... Were Oliver had learned table manners, Kevin had not. He didn't know how to hold a knife and fork... 

"Here let me show you how to hold them..." I say showing him and he blushes... "It is okay kiddo..." I say as he tries to do what i showed him. Mya smiles and hands me a plate... I sit down next to Oliver and nudge him a little making him giggle... "These are really good..."  Kevin says talking with his mouth full of pancakes... "No talking with your mouth full sweetheart..." Mya tells him and i chuckle as he blushes... "Sorry..." He mumbles... "It is okay sweetheart..." Mya says and he smiles. Every time i call him kiddo or Mya calls him sweetheart his face lights up...

After we are done with breakfast Mya goes to get the boys ready for the day and i call ma. I explain a little what is going on. She loves to come over and says she will be there in an hour or so... I go to take a shower and get dressed for the day... Mya must have been up for a while as she had already showered and gotten dressed. I was a little worried about that but for now she seemed fine. I just kept telling myself to keep an eye on her. 

As i put my watch on Mya storms in looking panicked grabbing her doctor's bag... "Take the boys into the yard..." She says with utter horror on her face... "I called an ambulance... She left a note..." Mya says before rushing out again... I stand there in utter shock as i have no idea what is going on... I walk out and see Mya disappear in the guestroom... I follow her and slowly push the door open only to look shocked as the bed is fully red... Blood everywhere and Mya desperately trying to help her by trying to stop the bleeding... She looks up. "Chris please open the front door for the paramedics and take the boys as far away as you can... I dont want them to see this..." She says her voice panicked but the way she works is calm. 

"I have stopped the bleeding... There is barely a pulse... a few hours ago she was fine still asleep..." She says and i see her phone laying on the bed her stethoscope hanging around her neck her bag open on the edge of the bed... "Okay the paramedics are on the way..." A voice sounds through the speaker... "Chris...! The kids!" She yells and i snap out of it... "Keep calm!" She yells after me and i take a few deep breaths as i find the boys playing with the dogs in the kitchen. 

"Boys lets go into the yard with the dogs..." I say and the boy's cheer. "Go... I'll get your coats..." I say and as i go to open the front door leaving it open pressing the button of the gate. I take their coats on the way back and take a deep breath. My adrenaline is pumping, and it finally sets in what is happening. Stacy tried to kill herself... Or has killed herself... I have no idea... I walk out in the yard and hand the boys their coats... I watch them play with the dogs... I have to fight my tears as Kevin is unaware of what is going on... I peak inside as i hear footsteps... I look at the boys and quickly walk in and point the paramedics to the guestroom... An officer walks in not long after that and i point him to the guestroom to before i excuse myself to look after the boys... 

I look at the boys still who are still blissfully unaware of the drama playing out down the hall... "Mr. Evans...?" An officer whispers and i sigh walk in the kitchen and close the door locking it... "Is she?" I ask and he nods... "Dr. Walsh called time of death a minute ago..." He mumbles. "Fuck!" I yell and the man sighs... All of a sudden Mya appears... She looks at me and shakes her head before she breaks down... I can catch her just in time... "She is gone... She has abandoned him..." She whispers and i hold her in my arms... "She left him... She just left him... She gave up... How could she... We would have helped her..." Mya says in tears and i start to cry to as it sinks in... Stacy is dead...