Married, on paper.

8. Arrival

We have landed at West Yellowstone airport. Adrenaline is pumping... It is getting late and i rush out the airport looking for the car rental place. But i get lost and i sigh... "Excuse me..." I ask a grumpy looking man. "I am looking for the car rental place?" I say and the man looks me up and down and i pray that he will not recognize me. But even if he does, he doesn't let it show and points me the other way i had been going... I thank him and take a deep breath. I need to calm down. I am not going to see her tonight... "So, stop running around as a headless chicken and just calm down..." I scold myself. 

I pick up my rental car and type the address of the hotel in the GPS. But as i take off i can't help but be vigilant the idea i can catch a glimpse of her has me on edge... I wonder if she still looks the same... Will she still have that beautiful brown long hair that flowed in waves over her shoulders... Will her smile still light up a room... Does she still have that twinkle in her eyes, her beautiful green eyes... Will she still be that bubbly and a little mischievous woman who loves adventure. She probably is. She moved to the place she dreamed of. She always said she would love to life here to go hiking and camping. Just be as much outdoors as she can... God she really is the opposite of Genevieve... 

I once suggested to Genevieve that we could go camping and she looked at me with disgust... She asked me what about her gave me the idea that she liked camping... Genevieve was a 5-star woman, her words not mine. Mya loves camping, hiking and doing all sorts of outdoorsy things. She said it made her feel free... Growing up the way that she did she longed for the ultimate freedom... 

Mya didn't mind getting her hands dirty, she loved it...  Genevieve would avoid anything that might break a nail. Even in her business as an interior designer she would let her assistant do all the heavy lifting. Genevieve would just point and order people around... In every aspect of her live. 

I sigh and grip the steering wheel harder my knuckles going white. I have to stop comparing them... I am not being fair as i feel like i am starting to see Genevieve in a bad light more and more... Genevieve is beautiful... She is beautiful... I think to myself trying to come up with other things i love about her but right now i draw a blank. I just have to get this over with, go back home and then i can put this all behind me and marry Genevieve... 

I finally arrive at the hotel... Well, it is more a lodge. I smile as it looks nice... Everything here looks nice and so peaceful... The nature surrounding this place is overwhelming... I walk to the desk and the lady greets me with a smile... She has this grandma glow over her... A round face white curls and reading glasses hanging around her neck with a chain... "I am checking in..." I say and she chuckles... "Well then you are in the right place sweetheart..." She says smiling at me and i smile back...  She tells me breakfast will be between 8 and 10 in the dining area... If i need breakfast earlier there is a diner in town that is open 24/7 and according to her serves the best pancakes in whole Yellowstone... "But i might be biased as my son owns the diner..." She says winking at me and i smile... "Well i might have to check it out then..." I answer and she beams at me. She hands me a key and i smile at the fact it is still an actual key. I can't remember the last time i stayed at a hotel that still had keys... 

I thank the lady and make my way to the room. The room is simple and i smile. It really has this rural cabin feel and i love it... I walk to the balcony opening the doors and fresh air rushes in... I step out and take a deep breath... I look out and smile at all the green... It is beautiful here and somehow it makes me happy to know Mya is surrounded by all this beauty. Mountain's, water and trees as far as the eyes can see... 

But the reality of the dangers of this place sets in when this massive grizzly walks past... I hold my breath as it is magnificent yet a little scary... I watch it until it is out of my view... I go inside closing the door, locking it just to be sure... "Those things can climb right?"  I ask myself... I look over the room service menu and decide on ordering the burger and fries... I unpack and sigh looking around the room. I am tired but afraid to sleep. Scared that Mya will hunt my dreams again... Or more my last moment with Mya... Scared that her crying will haunt me... 

I pull out my phone desperate for a distraction and text Genevieve back. I tell her she looks good in all of the outfits she bought and ask if she had a nice time in the spa. Her answers are short and to the point and cold... She is annoyed. I can understand it but i also know she wouldn't be happy if we couldn't get married. I tell her i arrived safely at my destination and nothing. She doesn't even ask were i am or what kind of business i am having. She just talks about her day... I sigh and wonder if she really cares that i am not there... The more i think about i realize she never asks about what i am working on... 

I groan and throw my phone on the bed she is not providing the distraction i had hoped for... There is a knock on the door and i go to accept my food. After eating i install myself in bed... I want to get an early night mostly hoping i can catch up on some sleep. Ever since finding out i am still married i barely slept and with my little nap on the plane filled with nightmares i was in desperate need for some rest...