Josh POV
I wake up and roll over and look at my phone sitting on my bedside table at my childhood home. Its 12:34pm. I roll back and see Colleen with her hair all over her face passed out still. She is exhausted from this tour and so am I. The last couple of tours I noticed us not enjoying it as much. It is hard to be always on the go. I roll over and stare at the ceiling. We really need to finish this discussion we started last night. We always said we wanted kids 1-2 years after we are married and well I am 33 and Colleen is going to be 31 this fall. We have saved money and bought our dream home. Everything is ready for the family we both have always wanted. I hear her stir beside me knocking me out of my thoughts. "Morning or I should say afternoon baby" I say kissing her neck. Her arms wrap around me and she kisses me back. "I missed you baby" I say kissing her more. "What do you mean? We had the whole back of the bus for three weeks" she says laughing. "Yes with the paper thin door and your mom and sister sleeping right outside of it" I say smiling. I run my hand under her tank top as I kiss her lips. "Josh" she whispers. "Yes baby" I say as I break the kiss. "Need you" she says french kissing me hard as she pulls my neck down to her. Her hands run along my back and she lifts up my shirt and I take it off. "want to feel your skin" she says smiling. I throw her tank top on the floor so both of us are just in underwear. "Colleen you are so beautiful baby" I say as I jump up on my knees and kneel between her legs. I start kissing her stomach and down to her belly button as her hands run through my hair. I lower her underwear off and I take mine off as well. I just stare at her naked below me as we intertwine our fingers together. I look into her eyes and smile as I lay on top of her kissing her lips. I push myself into her as I feel her legs come up on either side of me. "Josh you are amazing" she whispers. "Give it to me Colleen. Tell me how much you love me" I say in her ear. She pulls her hands out of mine and grasps onto my back as I quicken. I look at her and I know she is so close. I feel her fingers tighten on me and she rolls her eyes back slightly as she convulses below me. "Oh my god Josh. I love you baby" she says and I loose myself quickly watching her as I do. She grabs me tight as I collapse on top of her. "Sooo good" she whispers as she kisses my shoulder. "You are amazing Joshua" she says. "You are better" I say.
We lay there for a bit staring at each other. Before I start the conversation."Babe lets talk ok?" I say. "Last nights topic?" She asks. I nod. "When do you want babies Josh?" She asks. "Now. I am tired of touring and we are getting older. Lets at least start trying" I say hugging her towards me. "I want to wait another year" she says. "Why?" I ask. "Not ready" she says. "Colleen that means by the time we have a baby, I will be close to 35 or 36" I say tearing up. "Plus thats if we can get pregnant right away" I say. She nods. "Well thats what I am thinking right now" she says. She gets up and slides out of bed and walks into the bathroom. I am devastated. I get up and throw some pj pants on and walk out to the kitchen in a daze. The more I think about it the angrier I get. This was never the plan.
