Colleen POV
After our devastating loss I am on a mission to get pregnant again. I feel like I let Josh down. Josh and I have been trying for 4 months with no luck and I don't want to waste anymore time. I make myself a doctors appt and go alone without Josh knowing. I sit on the exam table waiting for the OB/GYN to come in. "Hi Mrs Evans" the female doctor says. "I am Dr. Samson" she says shaking my hand. "Hello. Nice to meet you" I say. "How can I help you today?" she asks. I explain to her the pregnancy and the loss and my tube rupture and that we want a baby. She examines me inside and out and does an ultrasound and sits me back up. "Well the way I see it is I can help you get pregnant faster with either one of my two methods. You can try IUI which would mean giving you hormones to boost your egg counts in your one ovary and to pull those eggs down into your uterus and then artificially inseminating you with your husbands sperm OR IVF, where we would extract eggs out of you entirely and take your husbands sperm and create at least 3 embryos outside of your body in our lab. Once the embryos are created we would implant them into you and hope that at least one of them takes. There is a chance that you could have twins or triplets though so please be forewarned" she says. "Ok so would you suggest doing the IUI first?" I say. "I think because you are down one tube IUI would be the way to start. It is cheaper as well" she says. "How much is it for either one?" I ask. "$5000 for IUI and 13,000 for IVF" she says. "Now because you and your husband are young I am hopeful the IUI would work" she says smiling. "Ok I would like to try that then. Do I need to start the hormones for a length of time before the procedure?" I ask. "Yes 1-2 months. Come back in one month and we will check you. If all is good we will get your husbands sample for the next day" she says. She starts writing out a prescription and asks me to book the IUI appointment with her secretary. I thank her and make my appointment and make my way home to talk to Josh. I hope he is okay with it.
I walk into the house and Josh is not there. I walk back into his man cave and see him cleaning out his fridge. "Hey baby" I say sitting on the couch surprising him. "Oh my god you scared me" he says laughing as he peeks his head around the fridge door. "Sorry babe" I say ringing my hands looking down. "Colleen whats wrong?" He asks as he approaches me. "Need to talk to you" I say grabbing his hands. He sits down and stares at me. I tell him I went to the specialist and what the doctor told me. "Why did you go by yourself Colleen?" He asks. "Didn't you want me there?" He asks upset. "I owed it to you" I say. "Colleen you didn't do anything last time. Its just happened babe. Stop blaming yourself" he says hugging me. "Lately we have been always trying and we have had no success. I want to have a baby. I want one now" I say crying into his shoulder.He rubs my back. "You don't want to try the good old fashioned way?" He asks pulling me out of a hug to look at me smiling making me laugh. "Chances are so low to conceive babe. Please lets try" I say. "Which one? IUI?" he says. "Yes. But I need to get the hormones at the drug store. Lets go out for dinner and get them at the same time" I suggest. He nods and slings his arm around my shoulder as we walk out to the car.
