Colleen POV
I jump in the shower and start thinking about what Josh said. I don't have any reason to wait, I just feel I am not ready and honestly I am scared. I know he's upset as he didn't want to be too old before we had our first. We don't have to tour since my surgery is next week and I will be off everything for 6 weeks and haven't got anything booked after that. We are going to Hawaii for the last two weeks of my recovery. Maybe we should start then. I need to get over my fear. I have always wanted babies with him. I step out of the shower and brush through my hair and dry off. I am tired of wearing makeup from being on stage for the past few weeks so I walk back into the bedroom and throw a sundress on. I notice Josh has left so I leave our bedroom to try and find him. I walk out to the living room and see Lisa and Greg. "Hi Lisa! Hi Greg! Where is Josh?" I ask. "Sitting on the swing out front" Lisa says. She knows something is off as Josh never really leaves my side. I slowly walk out the front door and see Josh staring into space with his back facing me. I walk beside the swing and he looks up and sees me. "Hi babe" I say as I sit down. "Hi" he says with tears in his eyes. "Josh you are getting so emotional babe. Nothing has been decided babe" I say rubbing his back. "You aren't ready you said" he says tearing up more. "I thought about it and we just need to do it. I will never get over my fear. There will never be a perfect time" I say smiling. He turns around and looks at me. "Really babe?" Grabbing a hold of me. I nod. "I figure we don't have anything booked for awhile so maybe start trying in Hawaii in a few weeks? I suggest. He hugs me tight. "Babe I just want to be a Dad. Thank you baby" he says. "I just have to take a leap of faith" I say kissing his neck. "I want to have our baby too" I say squeezing him. For the next hour Josh had the biggest smile on his face as we cuddle together. "Babe, Teeny told me I should take some Folic Acid everyday for the month before we start trying to help eliminate birth defects. Lets go for a late lunch and grab some at Target" I suggest. "Yes for sure" he says standing up and we both walk into the house hand in hand. Josh walks into our bathroom to get showered and dressed while I sit and have a tea with his mom. "I don't mean to be nosy but is everything ok? Can we help you guys?" She asks me. "We are good. Just a misunderstanding" I smile. Josh comes out 15 minutes later and we jump in the car together and drive to sushi.
We sit down and Josh reaches across the table. "Colleen I don't want to force you if you aren't ready" he says. "Babe I am just scared. We are ready" I say. He squeezes my hand. "You will be the best mom babe" he says as I smile. We enjoy the rest of the lunch and walk to the store together. I can just tell how excited Josh is and to tell you the truth it's contagious. I am too.
