Colleen POV
Josh has finished his second treatment and is now doing well. His burns are healing. The maximum amount of sessions he can have are two per month so even if he needs more we have to wait. I walk up behind him as he brushes his hair standing in our bathroom. "Hi baby" I say hugging him. "Doing ok?" I ask kissing his back through his shirt. "Yes babe. You?" He says spinning facing me. "Ok" I say as I lean in to kiss him. I start to cry during the kiss for some reason. He pulls back. "Happy babe?" He says ticking my hair behind my ear. I nod hugging him. "Want lunch?" He asks. "Not hungry. Upset stomach" I say. "Oh baby. Whats wrong?" He asks. Before I can answer I start throwing up as he sits beside me. "Colleen you need to sleep. I will help with the kids" he says. I lean into him. I stop breathing. "Josh" I say. "You don't think?" I begin to say. "What?" He asks. "Look under the sink. I think I have a pregnancy test there" I say. "This can't be happening" he says as he searches for it. He finds it and passes it to me. I sit down and pee right in front of him. I don't care. I put the cap on as Josh and I hug. "I thought I was late cause I was stressed... Holy shit" I say crying as Josh hugs me. We both release each other and look at the test. "Oh my god Josh. I thought you were sterile" I say into his chest. "They are going to make me terminate it Josh" I say sobbing to the floor. "Lets see babe. I don't want you sick again though. I nearly lost you the last time" He says now crying. I crawl out of the bathroom and climb into bed. "Colleen I am calling your doctor now" he says. I am in a trance. This is a dream. We did it one time while we thought he was sterile. Fuck.
Josh gets off the phone after speaking to my doctor. He is coming here to talk to us after his office hours. I get up out of bed and start helping with the kids and sit down and breastfeed Jasmine. I am sitting in her nursery watching her as I rock in my rocking chair kissing her little hand. I know I cannot terminate it. I have to wait until the doctor gets here.
Josh and I sit on the couch holding hands as we discuss with the doctor what happened. "Sometimes not all the sperm dies right away. Especially if the treatment wasn't too strong. Either way we are here now. Do you want to know my opinion?" He asks. I nod crying as Josh hugs me. "From your tears Colleen you know what I am going to say however you can try an carry it and see how your body deals with it for the next couple of weeks under my close watch. If you struggle Colleen we need to terminate ok? You cannot have another transplant" he says. We thank him and watch him leave as Josh and I hug and I cry. "I am so sorry" Josh keeps saying. I hug him tighter.
