Josh POV
Colleen can't come home. She needs to be here at the hospital to get better. I am sitting in the corner of the hallway in a daze. I am loosing her. I lean back against the wall and close my eyes. I think back to when we first talked over email and then met in person for the first time. I knew she was meant to be mine. She made me want to be a better man and her love for me made me happier than a kid on Christmas morning. I smile to myself and open my eyes. I see a nurse point down the hall towards me and I see everyone peek around the corner as Colleen sits in a wheelchair with her oxygen nasal prongs still in as her dad pushes her towards me. I stand up and walk towards her. I look in her eyes and I get lost in her. I am not staring at her body but in her, her soul. My love of a lifetime. I grab her hand and bend down to her kissing her lips. She smiles and squeezes my hand. I see tears in her eyes. I smile and I take over pushing her wheelchair as we leave the hospital.
We drive home and I wonder if this will be one of the last times I will hold her hand in the car. I look at her and she looks so happy to be with me as she smiles. We finally arrive home and the kids are in Gwen and Tim's arms on the front lawn. I hop out of the car and run over to her side and open her door. "First time you let me open your door" I say joking. "Thank you sweetheart" she says as I stand her up. Lily and Noah look terrified as they see her. They know she is sick but I can tell she looks worse then what they imagined. "Babies!" She says as she slowly walks up to them. Lily and Noah hug her neck as her parents hold them. I join the hug and look at Gwen. She is holding it in. She rubs my back and looks away. "Lets go sit down" Colleen says as I help her up the stairs. We make our way to the living room and Rachel has got her a Coke and a chocolate bar. "I am so excited to eat this and drink this" she says slightly out of breath cracking open the can. I smile and sit beside her. The kids jump on our lap and Lily explains all of the pictures she made for her. Colleen is crying looking at them. "Can I bring them to the hospital with me?" Colleen asks her. "Why are you going back Mommy? Stay home" she says. "Mommy needs medicine baby. She has to go back" I say quite quickly. Colleen smiles at Lily and hugs her. "I will be home until tomorrow" Colleen says with a smile. All three of them lay on the couch watching a movie together as the rest of us get food together. Everyone is quiet and handling what is happening each in their own way. I feel my mom hug me as I grab some plates and I smile at her and side hug her. I cannot loose it in front of the kids. We spend the rest of the day relaxing and eating as friends come in and out all day. Her nurse comes around 7:30pm and gives her medication to last her til morning. Her parents are putting the kids to bed for us so we can snuggle and watch TV in our room and relax. She lays on my chest as I rub her bare back. "Joshua" she says quietly. I close my eyes. I know she wants to have a serious conversation. "Yes babe" I say. "Thank you for everything baby. I love you so much" she says crying holding onto me. "Colleen you aren't leaving me babe" I say holding back. She looks up at me and is crying. "Joshua" she says again holding my face. I loose it and hug her and sob into her shoulder as she buries her face in my chest. "Colleen what am I going to do baby? Seriously I can't do this without you. I have so many plans for us. We need grandkids and a house in Hawaii and..." I say looking at her through my tears. "Joshua you have to be there for the kids. Hold yourself together. You have my family to help you but please promise me you will find someone to be with ok?" She says rubbing my face. I don't move. "Please" she begs. I nod rubbing her cheek. She takes her nasal prongs out and kisses me. "Babe please put your oxygen back on" I say stopping her. "No" she says and she grabs me again and we make out for over an hour. I loved every second.
