Colleen POV
"I am scared he is going to be angry Josh" I say as I put my shoes on to go see the doctor. "He is not angry babe. He is concerned. He doesn't want any harm to come your way" Josh says smiling as I finish doing up my sandal. I grab Lily's hand and walk her out to the car while Josh brings Noah in his car seat. We jump in and make our way to my appointment. I walk in and check in with the receptionist until they call my name. "Colleen Evans" the nurse says at the edge of the doorway. I stand up and my entourage follows. Josh sits with Lily on his lap while we wait for the doctor. "Are you scared Mommy?" Lily asks. "No baby. Doctors help keep Mommy healthy" I say smiling at her. The doctor walks in and smiles at everyone and approaches me. "Well Colleen,Josh did you decide?" The doctor asks. "We are keeping it" I say shyly looking at Josh. "I see" he says. He grabs my chart and starts writing in it. He grabs the blood pressure cuff and my BP is normal. "How is the pump doing?" He asks lifting my shirt and looking at the digital screen. "Love it" I say smiling. "Looks like from the history here you have gone through 3 vials in the last week?" He says shocked. I nod. Josh looks at me. "Colleen you are only 7 weeks pregnant and you are already taking nearly 6 times your usual amount of insulin. Doesn't that alarm you?" He asks. "I just thought it would settle down once my body gets use to being pregnant again" I say. "Lets hope" he says. "Well I would like to do an ultrasound in two weeks on your next visit. Until then please take it real easy Colleen. Eat healthy as can be" he says as he waves goodbye to us and leaves the room. I look at Josh and he is upset and annoyed. I never told him about the insulin usage. We quietly walk out to the car and place the kids in the backseat. "Mommy the doctor looked mad. Why was he mad?" Lily asks. "Ya Mommy why was he mad?" Josh asks sarcastically as anger boils inside of him. I shake my head. "He wasn't babe. He was just talking about something important" I say towards Lily as I look at Josh. "Babe" I quietly say as the kids start falling asleep as we drive home. "I honestly thought it would settle down. I am sorry" I say watching Josh's expression. "You always keep things from me. This is not how this works Colleen!" He says raising his voice. "Sssshhhh Josh" I say pointing to the kids. "You know I am terrified and you keep this shit from me? Say I had to bring you into the hospital and I didn't know that information? They could kill you with too much insulin! Do you understand?" He says wiping his face from tears. "Sorry" I say. "I don't know how many times I can ask you to open up to me but we always seem to come back to this. Please baby!" He says as he pulls over the car and cries into the steering wheel. I rub his back and lean into him. "I hope we made the right decision" he mutters as he sobs some more.
