JOsh POV
I wake up the next day and see Colleen missing from our bed. I check the time and its 4:34am. I look at the baby monitor sitting on her bedside table and smile as I hear her quietly talking to Noah as she changes him. I sit there with the biggest smile on my face until she finally gets him back to sleep after feeding him. I hear our bedroom door quietly open and she sneaks into our bathroom. She spends a long time in the bathroom until finally she appears still not knowing that I am awake. "Baby" I whisper watching her shadow in the dark move to her side of the bed. "Sorry babe did I wake you?" she asks crawling into bed beside me. I grab her to me and wrap my arms around her. "No I woke up when you weren't beside me. My body knows you aren't here and it wakes me up" I say kissing her neck. "Ok good....I was trying to be quiet" she says. "Noah ok?" I ask. "Yes perfect" she says smiling. "How are you babe? You were in the bathroom for a while?" I say snuggling her more. "Upset stomach but I think its because everything is moving back to its normal spot post baby" she says. "I remember similar with Lily" she says. "You are so tiny already and Noah isn't even 2 weeks old. I don't know how you do it but then again you amaze me at everything you do" I say kissing her lips. She moans slightly in my mouth. "Joshua....calm" she says giggling. "One more month" I say devilishly. She giggles as I hug her tighter. "You are bad babe. We are going to get pregnant again" she says. "No more babe. I will make sure of it" I say sternly. "We have our perfect family" I say closing my eyes. She says nothing and I can tell in her body language she is upset about something. "Did I say something wrong?" I ask kissing her forehead. "No Josh. Lets sleep" she says with her voice breaking a bit. "Colleen?" I say turning on the bedside table lamp wanting to see her face. "Its just that I feel like such a mess for you. I wish we could have more babies without me going more downhill every time" she says crying now. "I failed you babe" she says choking. "Babe you are being silly now. You gave me two beautiful kids. You did that Colleen. How are you failing me? We always said two" I say grabbing her face as her tears soak my hands. " I dunno" she says shrugging her shoulders. "It is perfection right now. You safe in my arms and my two kids sleeping cozy in their beds. I am the luckiest" I say kissing her harder. She wraps her arms around me and rolls me on top of her and we have a 10 minute make out session until finally we need to stop. "Have to stop babe. I am getting carried away" I say giggling. "Love you baby" she says as she scoots in my arms again after we turn off the lamp and fall back asleep together. She is my heart and soul.
