Virgil/Logan | Sanders Sides [One-Shots]

[61] - Calming

Anxiety is fun :)) personally when my anxiety heightens I become nauseous and that keeps getting worse until I throw up ...and then I keep throwing up

(once I got so dehydrated that after a week I had to go to the hospital)

So yeah that's what anxiety does to me :)

Warnings: anxiety, mention of throwing up (no actual throwing up), mention of nausea

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It had been under his skin all day, anxiety threatening to overwhelm him at any moment. His hands were shaking more than they usually did, and he was beginning to feel slightly nauseous. Virgil knew that he wouldn't be able to keep his anxiety on this level for much longer, it had slowly grown all day, and he had to find a way to calm down, otherwise he would become nauseous enough to throw up, or maybe even slip into an anxiety attack.

He wanted to avoid both of this possibilities, so he did what he thought would help the most, he pulled himself up from the floor where he had been lying, and sank out of his room and into Logan's. Virgil awkwardly stood there for a moment, spotting Logan by his desk, typing quickly on his computer. He did not want to bother Logan, especially not while he was working, but he wanted to just take a while to calm down somewhere he was comfortable.

"Hey." Virgil said, just to alert Logan that he was there, and to make sure he was not unwanted at this moment.

"Virgil," Logan said, turning around in his chair just to give him a fond smile, but as soon as he saw Virgil his expression changed to one of mild concern, "are you alright, do you require my assistance?"

Virgil shook his head, sitting down on Logan's bed and pulling his knees up to his chest then wrapping his arms around them. He took his time answering, wanting to make sure he'd speak without stuttering and that he knew what he would be saying, otherwise he feared he might just end up rambling.

"No. I don't want anyone to touch me, or be too close right now. I just wanna be in the same room as you, your presence is calming, so can I just ...sit here?" Virgil mumbled. He almost always felt better in Logan's room. It was a mixture of the aura itself in the room, which made Virgil think more clearly and be able to more easily find the problem and the solution to his anxiety, but also of having Logan close to him, which reminded him that if his anxiety threatened to overtake him, then he had someone close who always managed to talk him through it.

"Of course, dear, you are always welcome to spend time in my room. If you would need me then just tell me and I will help you in any way I can." Logan said, smiling softly at Virgil before turning back to his screen and once again focusing on what he was working on. Virgil leaned his forehead against his knees and closed his eyes. Logan had begun to type again, which was helpful when it came to Virgil calming himself down.

Logan had a keyboard that was quite loud, but the clicks of the keys being pressed down was a familiar sound that lulled him into a sense of safety and calm. He ran breathing exercises through his mind, counting by tapping his index finger against the back of his other hand, something that made it easier not to forget what he was doing or lose count.

When he felt that he was no longer on the verge of hyperventilating or bursting into tears he laid down on his back, then curling up on his side and watching Logan as he was working. Logan's room really did made him think more clearly, and that was a great thing when his anxiety made him feel as if his thoughts got stuck in spider webs while on their way through his brain, causing them to quite slowly reach their destination.

Virgil yawned, realizing how tired he was after feeling anxious for the whole day, and how wonderful he felt without the underlying feeling of nausea. His eyelids were growing heavy, and after a few minutes the calmness around him lulled him to some well deserved sleep.

--

After many hours of work he had finally deemed himself done for the time being, and with satisfaction Logan saved his work. He stretched and sighed, closing his eyes for a second before forcing them open to look at his watch. It was soon 1 am, he had definitely worked for longer than he was supposed to without any breaks.

He suffocated a yawn, standing up and looking out over his room. His eyes immediately fell on Virgil, that was fast asleep on his bed, dressed in his hoodie and a pair of black sweatpants, and despite this being nowhere near the first time he saw Virgil like this it still made his heart flutter.

Quietly he moved across the room, changing out of the clothes he wore and into something that'd be more comfortable to sleep in. He carefully slipped beneath the covers, trying to not move too much as to not disturb his boyfriend. Luck did not seem to be on his side though, as he finally laid down next to Virgil.

"Logan?" Came Virgil's quiet and drowsy voice, and Logan internally groaned, he hadn't wanted to wake Virgil up. Virgil needed all the sleep he could get, Logan did not want him to get any less sleep than he already was. And, quite honestly, Logan didn't think it was necessary for him to know just how late Logan had worked, Virgil always told him not to work late into the night.

"I'm here, go back to sleep." He said with a soft little sigh, looking at his boyfriends sleepy face. He pulled the covers over Virgil too, worrying that he'd be cold.

"What time is it?" Virgil mumbled sleepily, not even opening his eyes, but his hand somehow found Logan's and their fingers entwined.

"It's late." He said, not really wanting to specify the time more than that. Virgil opened one eye and then pouted at him, and Logan kissed him on his nose before he could open his mouth to complain.

"I know, I shouldn't work so late. You can lecture me tomorrow." He said, and Virgil seemed to agree that it was not the right time for such a discussion, because he just inched closer to Logan, burrowing his face against his chest. It didn't take the both of them many minutes before they were fast asleep, still cuddled closely and with their fingers laced together.

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Written: 25th, 26th & 27th August 2018
Published: 11th September 2018
Words: 1208

Idk how but I've made friends in school. One of them I managed to get into the Sanders Sides fandom, and I told her about the ships and about fanfiction

(and she didn't freak or find shipping weird)

and this could've been a bad idea, because I'd probably die if she found my fanfiction

I love you guys, I hope you had/will have a nice day <3