Virgil/Logan | Sanders Sides [One-Shots]

[156] - The Sweet Relief Of Learning

Summary: finding out about asexuality can be relieving, 

Warnings: insecurity, thinking something is wrong with oneself, doubt, fear, logan is worried boi, asexual logan, mentions of society's aphobic standards

long since asexual awareness week now but who cares, I'll write ace logan anytime

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"Logan, hey, um, what's up?" Virgil said and sat down on the couch. Logan let his eyes roam over Virgil for a second, noticing how his sleeves were pulled down over his hands, noticing that Virgil was staring at the tv across the room from where they were sitting rather than looking at Logan, noticing how he worried his bottom lip between his teeth.

"I am well, but I can tell that there is something you wish to say, so I suggest that we shift our focus to whatever it is that you are anxious to tell me." Logan said.

"You read me like a fucking book, you nerd." Virgil said, tilting his head back and giving Logan a look of what could only be described as fondness and Logan's heart felt as if it did a weird skip in his chest. Virgil sighed when he realized Logan was waiting for him to continue.

"Okay then, I'll talk, I'm just not the best at this." He said with a roll of his eyes and a sigh. He was quiet for another long moment, looking as if he might be contemplating whether it was possible to escape the room or not.

"So, I might've been having these feelings for you for a while and, if you'd like to, then maybe we could go... grab a coffee, or something to eat, some day." Virgil said with a shy and wobbly smile that was unlike him he always acted so edgy (perhaps to hide his anxiety), and Logan had to take a steadying breath as he understood the words and their meaning.

Oh no, oh no.

"I don't know if... if that would be the best idea." Logan said, staring out in the room and wondering if he was actually insane, telling his crush he did not want to go on a date with him, but it would simply be foolish to accept, no matter however much he'd like to. Virgil let out a slow breath and when Logan looked at him he noticed how he was staring down on his hands.

"That's fine, I hadn't really expected you to feel the same." He said and shrugged, seeming disappointed and Logan desperately hoped that Virgil wasn't too hurt. It wasn't Virgil's fault he couldn't accept the ever so tempting offer, it was himself there was something wrong with, and he didn't want Virgil to think he was anyway at fault. Spurring the conversation further might not be the wisest he could have done but he could not help it.

"I do, I do feel the same for you, I just-" Logan clasped his hands together tightly. He was bad at expressing his emotions but that was not at all his concern right now, even if that wasn't helping Logan in the least at this moment, but his concern lied elsewhere.

"Just... what?" Virgil said, not pressuring or anything as such but Logan couldn't just not try to make Virgil understand.

"There's something wrong with me and I don't think you'd enjoy being in a relationship with me and therefore it seems pointless to even attempt dating." Logan spoke quickly and with his eyes fixed on Virgil's laptop which had been lying on the coffee table for at least a week. It had various rainbow stickers on it and others that Logan didn't know where they were from.

"Logan, I know you pretty well by now, there's nothing wrong with you, I'm fairly certain of that. Sure, you're weirdly interested in school and I will never understand how you always finish your homework in time, but there's nothing actually wrong with you." Virgil said with a careful smile which Logan did not return, he only turned his attention towards anything else, this time a painting on the wall which one of their roommates, Roman, had painted and then insisted to hang there.